My bf and I have been together for over a year. We have been arguing and having the same fights about this since.
I have been in a friend group of 10+ years that when we were very dumb and young some of us have had flings/hooksup with each other but always have remained friends. Now we are almost 30 and everyone is either in serious relationships, engaged and/or married.
My boyfriend was really mad and told me I broke his trust by bringing him around 2 guys who I was friends with that I also had previous history with. I brought him to meet them (and others girls/guys) when he visited me when we were long distance. One guy I had history with 11 years ago and the other 3 years, never dated either. Both are in serious relationships and the 11 year one is even engaged to one of my friends. They have been together for almost 7 and I’ve been good friends with them until I started dating my bf.
I guess we were just grew up differently because he cuts every fling or ex out of his life in every aspect and I’ve managed to remain platonic friends with some. Others I don’t talk to or communicate with at all. He expects me to do the same and is convinced no relationship can be platonic if you have slept with someone. Many of my gfs have been in the same boat as me in some way and they’re husbands/fiances/bfs are okay being around their gfs ex flings.
Long story short, he says I’m being disrespectful and has told me I can’t be friends with them anymore. He tells me no other guy in this world would put up with that. He has also asked me to delete every single ex fling off every social media platform and if they text me things like Happy Birthday I can’t respond. The hard thing is that I can’t cut off the guys completely bc they are in my friend group from home and dating the girls in our group too. It already feels like I’ve been cut off from all my friends including the girls because he doesn’t want me to be around 2 guys. So whenever we’ve had group activities or things I don’t get invited anymore or don’t go.
To add, I moved across the country for him last year and don’t live near any of them anymore so the times I see them or any of my friends are rare. I know there should be boundaries with them and I have openly and willingly respected them and agreed to them because I do think there should be boundaries. I have said I wouldn’t text them individually or hangout alone (which is a given) or really communicate with them at all. I’ve done all I can to remove myself from them but it’s cost me time with my friends of 10+ years and relationships with some of my other friends. He keeps saying I’m bringing them into our relationship when I have done nothing but all I could to remove them.
Is this just the end pass? Is there anyway to move forward with this where both sides are happy? I’m really just tried of dealing with insecurity and jealousy.