My husband and I run into this problem all the time. We don’t have many friends/family near us to watch movies we’re interested in and so we try to get each other to want to watch them with us but we don’t like the same type of movies.
Like my husband has been stressed from work and wants to go see a movie at the theater. However, it’s a anime movie and I don’t like anime. I can tell already he’s disappointed that I’m not that interested in it.
Soo…to my married couples, is there a solution to this? Do you just suck it up and watch the movie for the sake of your loved one?
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If he wants you to come along as like a date sort of thing to spend time with you, go. If it’s just bc he wants to see the movie, he can go see it himself. I see movies by myself all the time.
I used to work Tuesday-Saturday so I had Mondays to go see genre, horror, slasher, weird movies when she was at work. Now she calls those movies Monday Movies. I don’t force her to watch Monday Movies. Why would I?
We each pick a movie to watch together every weekend, so this weekend it’s my pick, the next it’s hers. But we don’t pick movies that we know the other just won’t like. Of course sometimes there are movies she’s dubious she’d like but I’ve earned enough trust in my picks (and I know her well enough) that she knows I wouldn’t pick something she’d hate. That also means that come spooky season I get to program all of October with my genre movies for our weekends, but again, not picking movies she’d just *hate* like Terrifier.
Yeah of course. Sometimes he watches things for me, sometimes I watch things for him, it’s just a movie. It’s not that serious. We’re married, we engage with each others interests because it makes each other happy
Ohhh I hated anime, what’s with 2D flat things that made him go ga ga over it?Fought for a few years about this. So that made very few movies which we both wanted to see.
When it didn’t work, I started to watch Anime myself and I concentrated more on the story. Turned out I loved it. Of course not the first movie itself. i watched anime series and movies and slowly warmed up to them.
the beautiful turn was now I could ask him to watch horror movies with me and he did. Slowly our range of movies together to see increased. now we even love Korean fantasy dramas together and anime movies. Of course not all of them. Sometimes he watches his own series and I mine and if we want to see it in the theater then we both join each other on each other preferences. This helped spending 14 years together.
Married 17 years. We do ON OCCASION. NORMALLY, because we have very different tastes in movies, we watch separately. But sometimes there’s a time when we REALLY just want to enjoy a movie with the other. If it means a LOT to my husband, I’ll do it, with the understanding he has done so for me, too. I’ve gone to horror ones for him, he’s gone to Downton Abbey for me! If it’s at the theater, I just go for the popcorn and snacks. Sometimes I even end up liking the movie! Or we agree to go to a movie he likes, but a restaurant or bar of my choice after.
At worse, you waste 2 hours of your day making your spouse happy. Go watch the dang movie!
We don’t “go see” movies, as it’s a single event that costs above normal streaming, we don’t get to pause for bathroom or snacks, and traffic and parking are mental. That’s a whole load of “no thank you” for us both. The last movie we saw in the theatres was 2015. It was “The Force Awakens” and it was that day we realized we hated theatres more than we loved Star Wars.
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If it’s a regular date night, we choose from our movie list. We each have one and we cross-check to see which ones are good for us both. We kinda check on the day of to see if our preference is a problem. Normally no, but occasionally yes. If we have a random date night, we alternate. We don’t choose anything the other person will likely hate, but the person driving that night gets to drive and they’re also in charge of food, including prep and cleanup. If you get the perk of choosing the movie, you have the responsibility of dealing with the entire date. All of it.
We have a handful of ares we completely overlap on. Then a much larger area of “yeah I’ll watch that with you even though I’m not interested”, and then a couple small areas where we we won’t really cross over.
I don’t think it is that easy– there is also a question of why you won’t like it. My partner and I do stuff separate and then tell each other about it and what we loved/liked. I want to go to metal shows and hanging around bars and he wants more animation and quiet things. But he also has OCD and a lot of what I like is a serious trigger for it. We enjoy what we can together and appreciate the enjoyment we get from our different interests when we do our own thing. If there is overlap or other important reasons for sharing, join in, but having an understanding of doing solo adventures can also work well.
Suck it up and enjoy the time together 🤷🏻♀️
I had to sit through Twilight multiple times, and I swear the only person I cared for was Billy Burke.
Just like she sat through multiple James Bond movies for me.
I wouldn’t use the term “watch” as much as in the presence hanging out sort of thing. She doesn’t like horror(or anime)so I won’t even bother putting that on near her. But if it’s an action movie she will hang out and watch it with me. I’m the opposite though I’ll watch just about anything provided the story is solid. If it’s not it’s getting ripped apart by me lol.
I have watched 977643246 episodes of different 90 day fiance crap with my wife even though i hate that stuff. Worth every second.
Sometimes, yes. I think it’s important to show interest and support in your partner’s likes/hobbies. It doesn’t mean that you have to be involved in EVERY SINGLE one, and it absolutely needs to be reciprocal. My husband & I like to go back and forth and take turns picking a movie to watch. It means that I’ve seen Fast & the Furious, and he’s watched Pride & Prejudice with me. Guess what! We ended up enjoying both.
It does depend on how deep your dislike is of it – if you really, REALLY hate anime, then it’s understandable you wouldn’t go (and definitely don’t if you would make the experience bad by complaining or acting miserable). But if it’s more of a ‘I don’t really care for this,’ then I think it would be a loving gesture to go with him. It would make him happy, you could learn more about his interests, and you have a fun night out together.
If it’s a genre that will literally give you nightmares, let him go ny himself. If it’s just not to your taste & he will return the favor someday for you, go. If he’s a dickhead about it, though (meaning he picks the movie or he’s not going), let him go by himself. And be sure to go see things you like by yourself if he won’t go. Now my husband thinks it’s OK to go to the theater, choose separate movies, and meet up in the lobby after. To me, that’s a no go. It’s not really a date. If I have to sit in the theater by myself, I want to drive myself, not go early or stay late sitting in the lobby by myself perhaps up to a half hour to accommodate the different show times.
Well, I married someone who generally likes the same things I do. So that helps a lot. On the rare occasion one of us wants to watch something they know the other won’t be into, we usually just do that on our own time. I don’t really get any enjoyment out of forcing my wife to watch something I know she isn’t enjoying.
I suppose it’s a little different with a movie in a theater since a lot of people don’t like to do that alone.
But idk, I feel like we all do things we don’t really enjoy for our spouse at least occasionally. I don’t really want to have dinner with my in-laws like… ever, but I still do it every once in a while. And sitting through a movie I don’t like feels less taxing than that, personally.
We don’t have to do everything together.
There are things we both watch. And there are things he likes that I don’t and things I like that he doesn’t.
We are both fully accepting of going to see a movie we like alone.
I wouldn’t want him to not see a movie just because I don’t like it, and I don’t want to force him to watch a movie he won’t like where he’ll end up fidgeting or falling asleep during it.
I would rather watch my movie alone than sit there knowing he hates it.
For every guy movie I have to endure, he is forced to watch a gal movie with me. This was our agreement until our son got old enough to watch guy movies.
Now we go together. They go watch theirs, I go watch mine, and we meet up after.
My hubs knows better. if I have no interest, I will immediately fall asleep. I’m a sucky movie watcher.
I would find ways to expand his social circle. Check out Meetup or other groups around town. I’m sure there are guys out there that love seeing movies.
I sat through the entire Vampire Diaries series, One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl, and the worst of all.. Big Brother. It was all lame but she enjoyed watching it with me. It was no big deal, and it was nice to just cuddle up with her. Sometimes, it even works out when we do something we don’t really want to do.
My wife really wanted to spend a few days at this very expensive, all inclusive, spa she found. It was a three hour drive away. I was never a spa guy. It took her a bit to convince me, but I was having a hard time getting past the price. It was 3 days 2 nights, 4 meals daily, a really nice room, full access to all facilities, and a few treatments. It was $3600. So she talks me into it, we set it up for mid-February, and we go.
Welp, it ended up being the best thing we’ve ever done together. The room was amazing, the food was way better than I expected, the facilities and hot tubs were amazing. I’ve been a Dad for 20 years and by the next day after arriving I felt more relaxed than I’ve ever felt before. The stress of the daily grind was gone and we just hung out, hot tubbed, ate food, and had sex the whole time we were there. Now we make sure we go once a year, every year.
The thing I didn’t think I would like ended up being my favourite thing to do. Go figure eh?
Haha, we have this battle ALLLLLL the time. I just find it easier to watch horror movies when she goes to sleep, although I have a nasty habit of falling asleep only for her to wake up in the most effed up part of whatever movie I’m watching.
It isn’t that big a deal to us, she’ll go to movies she really wants to see that I’m not super in to with friends. I generally wait until the opportunity presents itself
I like things my wife likes because I like to see her happy. This is key in longterm relationships .
I used to not like anime either because I thought it seemed childish since it was animated. My husband likes anime and has shown me several different ones. There’s some I like more than others, but honestly the good ones are really good. Really great storytelling and characters and I often am emotionally moved.
If this is referencing the movie The Boy and the Heron, go see it! The director makes excellent films. Plus it’s a good way to spend time with your husband!
We are in the same boat! My husband loves all things anime- sometime I will watch shows or movies with him and sometimes not just honestly depends on my mood…
I have tried to get into them and just can’t…. I did however like watching the live action One Piece on netflix… (i know side comment lol)
I’ve sat through a thousand movies with my wife about romance and weddings and women in fancy dresses speaking with annoying English accents. I stay awake if I can.
Absolutely we will both watch movies and shows that we may not like. My only condition is that I don’t want to watch certain horror movies.
It’s a two way street.
You can bare through a movie you don’t like every now and then. So can your partner
When I was married we made a deal. He wouldn’t watch 50 shades and I would go see Star Wars. We compromised. I love horror movies so I don’t expect him to watch horror movies with me. He would watch them because I love them.
>do you just suck it up and watch the movie for the sake of your loved one?
Only when I want to. When I don’t want to, he takes whichever kids wants to see it OR watches it alone.
It depends on the movie. My husband and I made a deal because he didn’t want to watch the Barbie movie. That we would go see a movie he wanted that I didn’t want to. Well it was that movie that came out last year about child sex trafficking. I did not think that was a fair equivalent of not wanting to watch the Barbie movie lol. But just for a silly anime then yeah I’d just go watch it.
Why not? It’s just a movie. That’s not a big deal at all. I’m happy to give up three hours of my life to see my husband happy. Just take turns picking so you’re not always watching something you dislike.
If the purpose of the outing is for us to have a date, we’ll pick something we both want. If it’s to see the movie, we’ll go alone or with someone who wants to see it.
We do accompany each other to social events sometimes because one of us wants to go, even if the other one is meh.
But that feels different than a movie, somehow.
Maybe I would go to a movie premiere party with him if it was something he was excited about.
Yes. You go to the movie that you may not like because it’s something that your spouse loves. I thought this was the basis of marriage. It’s two completely different people coming together and making compromises because they want to spend life together. That includes maybe seeing shows or watching movies or spending some time with people that aren’t your jam.
As long as it’s this way on both sides, you should be going. My husband doesn’t even give me a hint that he’s not interested. He just goes along for the ride to make me happy and spend time with me.
Yes. Most movies are 2.5 hours TOPS. Just watch the movie, it’s not that much of your life.
I do it all the time, just stare through the screen and entertain myself with my own thoughts. It’s worth it for his happiness and the ability to just sit next to him for an hour uninterrupted.
All the time. Some are absolutely brutal for me to watch and I pray for a power outage. But she does the same for me so it’s only fair.
All our friends are 40+ miles away. I don’t like to go to movies. I set up bro dates so he can see what he wants to see with people who will enjoy it.
ETA: Husband and his friends appreciate it because they are all busy and spread out.
Of course! My husband and I take turns picking the movie. A lot of the time we both end up enjoying the movie but there have def been movies he did not enjoy that I did and vice versa. Compromise.
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Another suggestion though… why doesn’t he go to the movie alone if you really don’t wanna go? I really enjoy going to movies by myself.
Yes, absolutely. We both watch things the other doesn’t care for, because it’s more important to spend time together. We also have our, no please watch that on your own time, genres of movies/tv and we watch those separately.
Of course – we alternate movies every Saturday. One person picks the movie and the other person picks dinner/treat.
I’ll watch whatever movie my wife wants to watch, because it’s not about watching a movie, it’s about spending time with my wife.
She’ll do the same for me, but I’m also into anime, so it’s harder for her! 😁
My wife is not that into movies. I go by myself. I actually prefer it.
On one hand, if it really matters to them you should just suck it up and do it. Especially if it’s at a theater and can be a bonding moment. Try to see what they like about it, or ask them questions before/after to understand more.
On the other hand it’s okay to enjoy different stuff and enjoy it separately. My husband loves kung fu movies, I do not. I love chick flicks, he does not. We don’t force the other to watch these, instead when it’s movie time we find a movie we both will enjoy.
For the most part I don’t like to force my husband to do stuff with me just for the sake of being together, I’d rather us both enjoy ourselves. But sometimes I do really just want to show him what I enjoy.
I would 100% suck it up and go to the movie. We do things we aren’t totally crazy about for the other person, and they do the same for us. This is what marriage is. Go hang out with your husband.
In the early days of our marriage, sure.
Now? She has her stuff to watch and I’ve got mine. No issues. Occasionally, I’ll inquire about what she’s watching and same for me.
Yeah, just do it. It’s a small thing that they will appreciate
Maybe stop thinking about it like “ a movie “ and start thinking that it’s just him trying to spend time with you.
I would.
I mean I’ve gone to Wrestlemania twice and a bunch of wrestling pay-per-views for him. Hahaha. These things are expensive and not at all how I would choose to spend money on myself. But he loves it and so off I go.
I think wrestling is stupid, but I go to the shows and cheer when I’m supposed to cheer and boo when I’m supposed to boo. Lol.
I know it must be love because I don’t compromise like this for anyone else.
Honestly not cinema but my husband just watches tons of things without me because 1. he thinks I won’t like 2. ain’t nobody got time for that (he watches constantly).
He watches things I’d like to watch, too, sometimes and that’s hurtful though.
Not as radical different as anime but I do watch things he choose that I wouldn’t otherwise sometimes.
Lol yes all the time and he watches stuff he doesn’t like with me all the time
Support each other’s interests