I [25M] don’t really have any opportunities for sex or companionship in my life currently. I have a fairly stable social life, good physical health and finances, hobbies, work full time, etc, but I work from home and every woman I, my friend, and my family know remotely close to my age is either married or lesbian. This includes all my female friends, of which I have quite a few. Every one in my life currently is married or in a lesbian relationship. Nothing wrong with that, just how things worked out at my current place in life. Probably doesn’t help that I’m the only single guy I know who even cares about pursuing relationships currently.
I masturbate daily, almost exclusively before bed after fulfilling all my responsibilities for the day, but I often feel depressed while doing so because I know my old friends are married – most of them married young, which is the only thing I ever really wanted in life – as well as my abusive ex who is married to the guy she left me for. Knowing they don’t need porn and can have the real thing, while I don’t really have a way of obtaining that right now, just depresses me every time. But I still do it cuz, well, it’s all I’ve got.
That’s all. Also know that these feelings coming back might just be the result of my trying to wean myself off SSRIs. I dunno. Just wanted to vent a bit. Thank you.