I am thinking about ending a relationship of almost 4 years with my gf because she has been posting pictures of herself in bikini.
For the context. Early on in our relationship, I would sometimes post pictures of me in gym on facebook to show my progress. She asked me that she didn’t feel comfortable with that so I agreed and haven’t posted any pictures of myself in gym ever since. However, I clearly told her that I would also not want her posting her bikini pictures and she agreed. Now, I do not use too much social media. I only use facebook, whatsapp and reddit. I have never installed instagram and tik tok before so I honestly had no idea what she was posting in there.
A couple of days ago, I was hanging out with her and her friends. One of her friends was on her phone and was scrolling through Instagram. She came up on my gf’s picture in a bikini. I got taken a back but I thought it might have been an old picture. The thought stayed with me until the end of the day. So when I got home, I installed these apps specifically for this reason and found her page and looked through that. She had been constantly posting pictures of herself in bikini and there was even a couple of “thirst traps” on her tik tok. I was absolutely livid. This was the one thing that we agreed on and she still managed to break the agreement not only once but she has been doing it continuously knowing that I won’t see them.
Ever since that night, I have been giving her cold shoulder and I briefly explained to her why I was upset and I stopped replying to her. She seems to be emotionally wrecked from this. Today, she was sent to ER and she sent pictures of herself in the hospital bed. She keeps saying that I should not break up with her and that we can figure this out. The thing is, sometime ago we had a huge argument and this same thing happened. She was admitted to the hospital where she stayed for like a week before she got better to be sent home.
I don’t know if it is genuine or it is some kind of manipulation. I highly seek fellow redittors’ advice on how to proceed with the break up and how to end it peacefully. Your advice is greatly appreciated.
32 comments
Just walk away from this manipulative dumpster fire of a girl. Doesn’t need to be a big production. A simple as “I am done” is enough.
The crazy is strong with this one. She sounds manipulative and immature. Cut your loses. Life’s too short to add that kind of stress in your life.
The whole relationship is immature. Just leave.
Lmao of course she was so hurt that she got caught that she ended up in the ER. Dump her ass for good. She knew you wouldn’t be cool with it and deliberately kept it to apps you didn’t have installed instead of being honest.
The amount of men who just told me that porn isnt cheating but can’t handle their gf posting a bikini pic is wild.
Almost as wild as this chick going to the ER over her double standards
She’s refusing to take accountability for crossing one of your boundaries and is now taking it to the extreme of checking herself into the ER to manipulate you into staying with her. She didn’t post just 1 picture but a few and thirst traps too so she knew what the fuck she was doing. I think you need to dump her insecure ass. I guarantee you they’re gong to blame you for her being in the ER instead instead holding her accountable.
24 and 23? You sure?
You’re not responsible for her mental and physical health. If she’s so weak that every argument is sending her to the emergency room then this relationship is detrimental for her mental health even if she doesn’t see it. It might be best to end things and move on, it does seem like a manipulation and to be honest we won’t know either way. From what you’re saying…I don’t trust her.
This doesn’t seem to be because she posted bikini pictures, it’s because she betrayed your trust.
[deleted]
*Rules for thee not for me*
Is that how to want to live? Just break up. Blocking her everywhere and ghosting seems to be the go to method for you kids nowadays. But seriously, text her and be done with it. You don’t need a grand exit. Communicate your intent and block her, else you’re going to be inundated with pleas to talk and the rest that follows.
May I ask, what was she hospitalized for?
So she is in the ER because the stress/situation/argument with you?
Probably best to break up with her while she is in the hospital so there are medical professionals around her.
I’d probably explain the reason too so that she isn’t left wondering or hoping there is a chance to get back with you.
Based on your story I’d write something like: I am breaking up with you, I found out that throughout our relationship you have been posting bikini pictures. Although that is your right to do, we also set boundaries we both agreed to on me posting gym pictures and you posting bikini pictures. You have been lying to me this whole time while you post bikini and tiktok thirst trap videos. This isn’t something I can work though as it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. It is not something an apology will fix as it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Every picture you posted since we agreed to these boundaries as been a lie to me, it has been broken trust, it has been disrespect to me, and our relationship. If you wanted to change the boundaries we set, we could have spoken about it, you chose to go behind my back, knowing I don’t have instagram or tiktok to ever find out. I cannot forgive that. Right now I need space so I will be blocking you, please do not try to contact me.
Bikini pictures don’t bother me, her manipulative behavior does. Say goodbye.
Specifically crossed a boundary you set with her betraying your trust and it seems like now she is trying to manipulate you. You deserve better.
Why was she sent to the ER?
Dude you’re young, you’ve seen behaviour that isn’t acceptable. Leave, have a crappy few months getting over it, focus on yourself and the rest will follow
So she tells you no gym photos but she can post bikini photos? 💀
Just break up. Good god this shit is childish 😂
I’m so glad my prefrontal cortex is fully developed now. I couldn’t go through shit like this again. It seems EXHAUSTING.
Just say ‘things aren’t working out, it’s time to go our separate ways” you don’t need a West End musical production or a script written by Martin Scorsese, just tell her it’s not working and move on. Yes it’ll be sad and yes it’s a shame but you are 24 you’ve got the rest of your life a head of you. What she is doing is emotional blackmail and manipulation,her mental health is not your problem once you finish things and if she threatens anything call the police on her behalf or tell her family but she is not your problem
She is posting bikini pics to get external validation because she is emotionally immature.
She breaks down and goes to the hospital when you have a conflict because she is DEEPLY emotionally immature and probably needs lots of therapy before she gets better.
Do you see the pattern?
God 20 something shit is so exhausting. You people don’t even like eachother you’re just competing. Part ways and move on it can’t be that hard
Have we somehow stumbled upon Jonah Hill’s reddit account?
The hospital doesn’t check you in for a week bc your boyfriend is mad. Try harder next time.
This is coming from someone that just recently experienced this as far as boundaries being broken. On grounds being openly communicated. Leave, I stayed because I fell for the sorrys, and tears and I love yous. It was a quick lesson it only lasted 4 months but I’m glad it be that instead of 4 years. Respect yourself, she didn’t respect you and was only torn apart when you found out what she was doing behind your back. Leave, because she was smiling from all the compliments and attention. I guarantee the thought of being with someone else crossed her mind multiple times doing this. I repeat LEAVE.. don’t lose yourself to a girl that doesn’t respect you, you take her back and she’ll stop for a moment. But she’ll get the urge again, she’s shown you who she is and what she’s capable of. So you should do it in the coldest way possible and make her regret her actions with you getting back on track with yourself and bossing your life up.
Good Luck.
if it worked once and it works again it’s not a one off its a pattern developing.
dating is about finding compatible people to spend your life with if you lack that compatibility like ethics then its over. And to be clear ethics in dating is doing the right thing when no one is watching or calling out people who don’t.
also a week in the hospital OP you can say they admitted themselves to the psych ward
I couldn’t be in a relationship with either of you, but those are the rules you set together, if she couldn’t follow them, she should have left.
You don’t need a “good reason” to leave someone beside “I don’t want to be in this relationship anymore”
This isn’t so much about the pics as it is about her breaking your trust and doing it where she thought you’d never see. She didn’t post on FB because she knows you have/use it. She posted it where she thought you’d never see it and she could go behind your back.
Now as for the hospital stuff, her mental/physical health is not your responsibility. It is hers. Do not let her put it on you. You need to do what’s best for you and it sounds like ending this relationship is what’s best for you after the broken trust.
jonah hill went viral over this 😅
She is in the hospital under observation?
BREAK UP WITH HER NOW!!!!!!!!
She will never be more protected than she is at the moment.
My initial reaction was WTF (against you) until I read about the agreement based on her preferences.
Text her, tell her it’s over because she betrayed your trust because she broke the agreement that *she* asked for, then block her on everything.
Thirst trapping is bad news. She’s probably already talking to other guys.