I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He has cancer and is in remission. Overall he’s been good to me but there have been many instances in which I’ve caught him lying, manipulating, gaslighting and guilttripping me. He has joked about weird stuff such as how easy it would be to kill me (even went as far as to describe this graphically) and how easy it is for him to manipulate me and make me forgive him cause he thinks I’m obsessed with him.
The reason I haven’t broken up with him yet is because apart from this he has also been a great source of support and has helped me become more confident. But he keeps doing and saying things that are weird.
A few weeks ago we discussed how his bestfriend randomly wanted to stop being friends with him due to hearing a weird thing about him that he did not appreciate. I asked my bf what it was about but he said he never asked his bestfriend. I found this incredibly weird.
When I told him how weird that was he got incredibly defensive and angry, said it seems like I care about his bestfriend more than he does and should ask him myself (knowing I’d never dare to).
He takes me on dates but he tries to make me insecure about really specific things, for example he’ll keep saying my head is long or that I smell bad while it’s not true. He doesn’t say it in a joking manner either. He buys me flowers but gaslights me and says I’m insane when I get upset about his weird jokes, it’s gone to the point where I write what he says down in my notes in case he decides to gaslight me!!!
He doesn’t respect my boundaries when it comes to physical contact. He has tried to move his hands to places I’ve repeatedly told him not to touch. His excuse: You say it in a flirty manner and you know I’m autistic so you need to be direct. IMO i’ve been very direct and even if I was vague about it, that should still be your sign to stop!!
When we facetime he’ll randomly turn on his camera and will start jerking off without asking me if I’m okay with that. Even when I tell him I’m not in the mood he’ll try to change my mind and will keep pushing until I help him cum.
After every argument he won’t apologize, instead he’ll start talking about his health, how he won’t be alive for much longer (while he’s literally planning on buying a car and is in the midst of buying a new house, imo that just doesn’t make sense)
He’s been accused of being pushy in an uber with a girl, he said it’s not true because he’s never been in an uber with a girl but he takes ubers and he’s pushy with me when it comes to physical contact so I wouldn’t be surprised if he was lying about this as well.
He said his ex was crazy, continuously talked shit about her, his excuse: she was toxic.
She’s told him his evil and when he sent me a screenshot of that I couldn’t understand why she’d say that but now I do..
The only thing that’s keeping me from breaking up is the feelings of guilt because of his cancer but I just know we’re no match and he makes me feel weird and scared.
How do I go about this?