Husband’s employer is celebrating women’s month. So everyone is filling out a poster about most influential woman in their life. My husband chose his grandma over me. His mother was addicted to drugs and she OD’d while he was a child. Dad wasn’t around so his grandma took him in. His childhood involved him sleeping on the floor in the living room with a string of drug addicted men and literal felons occupying the house. She is always stirring up trouble with literally everyone. Pretty much how you would imagine a hoarder that enables every man she has ever met and is estranged from all of her own kids. I have tried to avoid trouble for the most part but I have felt a couple of times like she was taking advantage of us financially or overstepping boundaries with our kids (constantly cussing and telling graphic stories in front of them).
I get that he is grateful she took him in so he wasn’t in the foster care system but we have been married 9 years and have 3 kids together. I pushed them out and breastfed them and have stayed home with them to take care of them. We generally have a happy marriage. I have a good relationship with my dad but I still would have chosen my husband as most influential man in my life so it just kind of hurt he chose her over me.
When I confronted him him, he said I was taking it too personally and of course she is more influential because he has known her longer. I can’t really change his mind but am I overreacting? Should I continue to discuss this with him? Is this weird and a sign of a deeper problem? I feel we aren’t as close as I thought we were and it makes me see him as sort of a grandma’s boy who won’t stand up to her versus just being appreciative that she raised him