I have a lot of social anxiety, that I for the most part have worked through and resolved. But sometimes, particularly with a certain group of people, I always feel uneasy and like they don’t like me.
I realized today as one of my friends “discreetly” flipped me off as I asked whether her husband was getting enough protein. Looking back, I realize it was not the most sensitive thing to say as I don’t really have body issues and don’t always consider what I am saying. But I do have a habit of pulling from my own life experience of helpful tidbits I’ve found along the way when I get anxious and don’t know how to expand upon or carry on a conversation based on what the last person has said.
How do I carry on a conversation differently?
It wasn’t because I didn’t think he knew to eat enough protein that’s like very basic fact we all learned when we were very young, but rather because I wanted to continue the conversation that she had led into, I just didn’t think about the sensitivity of the material.
I usually phrase it in a question like “have you tried/heard of/read about this?” My conversation style has always been like this and there are plenty of people in my life who have similar styles of communicating, who bring up helpful unsolicited advice that I either take or leave and I never really get offended. In my mind, it shows they care about what I’m saying and are trying to help me, and if it’s ever something basic I just address it? Something like “hey that’s helpful advice but I already know and have tried that thanks silly”
So then im wondering why this specific group of friends that I always feel like they hate me? Is it the unsolicited advice? And why has no one ever said they have a problem with it?
I just really want to hear some other perspectives and maybe someone can explain to me a better way to carry on a conversation if not from my own experience.