My (30M) partner (30F) is hesitant to provide a clean STI panel. How do I approach this?
Me (30M) have been talking to a really cool girl (32F) for a whileand as usual we’ve been getting deal breakers out of the way before we actually start dating. So far I’ve really enjoyed our conversations and like her quite a bit.
I am pretty sure I’ve had fewer partners than her, which is why maybe it’s easier for me to do this:
I let her know that any time I have a new long term partner before I become sexually active with them I always request to see a clean STI panel, and I provide my own. This started when my first GF cheated on me and I was unaware of the other guys status or if they used protection. Now it’s just a part of my standards for myself, I am immunocompromised and take my health very very seriously.
She was really hesitant to this idea (I let her know it way in advance as like a “hey just making sure you’re aware of this standard I have so it doesn’t catch you by surprise if we do become exclusive). She said that she doesn’t feel like she sleeps with guys that would hide that kind of thing, and that it makes sex seem more like a business transaction.
To me, if you’re willing to open your body to someone, that’s way more of an invasion of privacy than simply proving a test that shows you’re clean.
TLDR: partner doesn’t think we should exchange clean STI panels before having sex and it concerns me