My male co-worker is very strange

24 comments

1. [removed]

2. He is very very shy or has social anxiety or he is a person that doesn’t care at all about other people.

3. He’s doing the same thing you are. He’s an awkward/anxious guy trying out different advice he’s read about in various situations. Likely his default state is just to keep to himself and not say much. But he wants to be more social. He just doesn’t have much experience applying them yet.

   He’s in the “Failing up” stage of his socialization practice.

   I’d say if you’re patient and humor/ecourage him, he’ll take an interest in you. And he’ll gradually be more relaxed and comfortable around you. He’ll be less weird and more himself. If you genuinely want that of course.

   If you don’t like it then I would advise giving him the cold shoulder and then, and this part is important, **directly, plainly and firmly asking him to leave you alone.**

   With people like us. Subtext can be hard. Don’t rely on subtext if you want him to go away.

4. He’s attracted to you but doesn’t have any game.

5. Give him a kiss and make it even more weird

6. Maybe look him up ?

   Idk what state you’re in but in Wisconsin we have something called “Circuit Courts” and were able to look anybody up and see their criminal record / background.

7. I guess just be nice and find out. Obviously stop if he is completely wierd. Can never be too safe.

8. The staring is very creepy. Everything else could be shyness but why is he not breaking eye contact, that’s odd

9. I’m a socially anxious guy myself (in fact, so anxious I can barely leave my home). But I can never understand people who don’t return a greeting. It doesn’t take much to say “Oh, you’re welcome!” or “Goodbye! Have a good night!” in return to someone who offered you a pleasantry. It’s just downright rude and odd. Especially since this guy has shown the ability to greet others.

10. Well it’s very antisocial to stare and not reply when someone greets them. I don’t get that—all you have to do is say hi/bye in return.

    I do understand the feeling that someone who doesn’t talk much can make you even more curious about them, but (for me) that’s only if they don’t seem like a complete weirdo creep, and that they’re just very reserved and holding back, and you would love to be the one they open up to. There’s a girl at my work who’s like that, and I feel she’s the most beautiful girl in the world, and that there’s just something about her. But unfortunately I think she thinks I’m a creep, so I try to not look at her anymore, even in passing, just so that she is not creeped out.

    But back to this guy, are you attracted to him? Or just curious as to what’s up with him? Do you want him to stop staring? It seems like you’ve tried by saying hi, and he hasn’t responded, but since you have no relationship with him still, you have nothing to lose by being more direct. I mean, he must have to respond to coworkers with work related issues. So you can try point blank asking him something that he has to answer.

11. From personal experience, it seems to me, hes rizzin with the -tism🤙🏽🙂

12. I wouldn’t be curious about him I’d be suspicious of him. He says “hello” to you enthusiastically but later when you said “goodbye” to him he ignores you? There’s something odd about him and especially with the staring at you. If you’re intrigued by him why don’t you try having some small talk with him because if his staring at you is any indication of him finding you attractive he’ll want to get to know you better. I’d avoid him because he’d give me the creeps especially not saying “goodbye” when you said it to him. If he’s so shy why did he enthusiastically once say “hello” to you? How is he with the rest of your co-workers? No his behaviour isn’t normal but some men are weird so it would be perfectly normal behaviour for him.

13. He’s just socially awkward but likes you

14. He is really shy to speaking to you.

15. I respect the fact that you haven’t completely written this guy off as a lunatic. As someone who can be awkward and aloof, this gives me hope

16. There’s a good chance he did say bye or say things back, he might’ve just been too quiet for you to hear it. Or he tried to, but his voice got “caught” and nothing came out. That used to happen to me all the time when I had extreme social anxiety

17. Or you could be experiencing a double seduction. Perhaps break the ice? Coffee?

18. Hes staring at you because youre staring at him. He thinks youre initiating the staring contest while you think hes initiating it. Ask him about it.

     He might think youre odd, which is why he feels anxious and acts weird around you.

19. Not normal. Avoid him like the plague.

20. he just sounds awkward. he sounds kind of like me haha. sometimes I don’t respond when people speak to me because I wrongfully assume they were talking to someone else

21. I think he’s weird as you are lol

22. He likes you, but he’s too much of a bun to ever come talk to you. If you like him try to help him out by trying to spark a conversation. If he misses that his lost, it would prove that he’s too creepy and it’s better to stay away from him

23. It’s not rocket science. He finds you attractive but doesn’t want to risk losing his job by making too many advances.

24. Its cool you are asking question in this sub without labeling him as xyz and its end of whole intetactions. Some suggest he may be awkard/anxious guy – he says good morning, brough your prints. But also remains silent. He may be shy who is failing in social skills. But even Im shy and just non stop staring is weird. Maybe he is autistic, dont get social rules like staring at one person is odd. I have mixed feelings, I mean if he wouldnt stare, I would say he could be anxious, but staring, maybe you are pretty for him and he is not aware that you feel that.

    I honestly agree with 1st comment, if you want, initate some small talk or jokes and watch if he will be intrested. He should be less weird then. But if you dont like it, just tell him directly, simple, 1on1.