**tl;dr;** boyfriend (25m) admits he picked me because I was physically there and his ex is more compatible with him than myself with him. I cannot help but feel like a 2nd best choice and “won” because I was a convenience. considering a break up before it gets too serious. quite insecure and unhappy right now
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He (25M) admits that his ex is more compatible than me (25F). I “won” because of the physical distance.
My (F25) boyfriend (M25) admitted his ex is more compatible and the reason they broke up is because of the long distance whereas I am physically there in his city.
I (25F) got with my boyfriend (25M) after we both broken up with our exes and now it has been one month together. We are very happy, maybe still at the puppy love stage. However we did get together with each other quite quick. Perhaps I’m his rebound.
Our past exes, my situation was that it was a dying 4 years relationship and I’ve been emotionally detached for over 8 months but only broke up now because we finally moved out, we lived together for 2 years. While my current boyfriend broke up with his ex because he became interested in me. Why he threw away his relationship, well it was a 4 years long distance (online relationship) where they never met once and they know it will never work. So he broke up because he wanted to be with me.
I shouldnt have asked some questions but basically he admitted that the reason he let me into his heart because his ex could not be with him physically. They have never met irl. And if she was here, I would have not been able to compete against her. Am I competitive, I don’t know.
I dont know how to take this. From this, I wish they were together. They have a better compatibilities. I cannot help but feel like a second choice. I was only able to “win” because I was a convenience. I won because I am there for physical aspect? I am compatible with him but probably not as much as her with him. Not sure if the sexual intimacy helped as he has not done anything with her as she is a Christian girl. This just further strengthen the fact his love for her is very pure as it did not involve sexual elements.
He tried to make me feel better saying “but you’re the one I want and the past is the past, right now I want to focus you”. But these affirmative words are not helping at all.
Ngl. I probably digged the hole myself because of the questions that I asked and the answers he gave. Should he lied? No. I rather know the truth.
How should I proceed. I don’t want to continue feeling like a 2nd best choice. I also feel a little dirty because she was this pure being and I don’t know, something like I seduced him in a way like the snake in the Eve garden? Perhaps we got together too fast. He settled for me because I am a convenience. Should I break it off because it gets too serious.
Thoughts please.