I’ve been working on being more social recently, and as I’ve done so I’ve realized some of my mistakes that make me cringe really hard. I have two pieces of advice for people trying to be social.
1. This, at least in my case, pertains to texting, but it could easily apply to in person conversations. If someone asks you a question about yourself, don’t answer and then immediately ask them “what about you.” Wait for them to answer and see if I conversation flows from their response. They asked you a question and want to hear what you have to say. If you say what about you it pressures them to give less input on your response and respond to your question. Also, if you talked to them about the topic first, when they do voice their opinion on the matter, you have more to base your response on.
2. Be approachable. If you’re not going to initiate conversation much, at least give other people the chance to. This is something I’ve really struggled with. I have RBF (can guys have that?) and I apparently look extremely angry when I’m just sitting there and people find me hard to approach and intimidating. I don’t know how I expected people to come up to me when if someone looks pissed and has closed off body language talking to them is the last thing I’d do. The other thing I see socially anxious people do is look really nervous; wide-eyed and unsure of themself. These people also aren’t very approachable. You don’t have to smile at everyone or talk a ton, just have an interested look on your face and follow the conversation while keeping your head up and body language open.