Why am u an easy target for harassment and bullies?.

i am an outcast and easy target in every situation i am in. people mock, insult, laugh at me everyday. I always get abused in the street and out in public. and i am always left out of things, nobody wants to be arohnd me. i think he cause of all this is because i am extremely unattractive. being an ugly girl is awful, people treat you like you are worth nothing and to them you are just a miserable sad joke. i have been extremely ugly my entire life since childhood and no amount of makeup or losing weight will help me. my face is just so hideous and weird and my features are masculine i dont even look like a girl. i have a masculine flat body with no curves, my boobs already sag like i am an old woman, i have no butt and my body has no shape to it. i have extremely pale skin and blue veins all over my body and fat flabby thighs. as disgsuting as my body is my face is even worse. i have a huge big crooked nose, small eyes that are always so wide open i look like i am on drugs (also have a lazy eye), my face shape is too big and manly, my forehead is huge and hairline is receeding, and my lips are tiny making my face look manly. my skin is awful, always looks greasy no matter how many times i wash it and i am so pale i am literally as white as a corpse. also i have ugly freckles all over my face.

when i say i am ugly i genuinely mean it, if i ever talk about my looks in front of people they get awkward and dont deny it.  i am the ugliest girl i have ever seen people dont even know if i am a guy or girl – i try to dress feminine but it does not help because my body is so box shaped and boyish. i dont feel like a real girl instead i feel like a creature. i am invisible to everyone and i only exist for people to insult and belittle. i have never been hit on (flirted with), cat called, complimented, had a first kiss, lost my virginity, or had a boyfriend (i am 17 but almost 18 now). people never approach me first unless it is to insult me and mock me.
when i am not being teased or mocked then people just avoid me, and if i try to talk to someone they will ignore me or give me blunt short answers. even when i am walking down the street people cross and go the other way as soon as they see me. everybody either is rude to me or ignores my existence. i am always looked over, and left out in every situation.

i am literally laughed at when i go outside, many times people have pointed and laughed at me or i get people who stare at me then say insulting things about me. my entire existence is just a joke to everyone.

i always get dirty looks, insults, from people. i cant leave my house for a few minutes without hate from others. i am an easy target to people because of how hideous i am. and i am constantly harassed, picked on, laughed at, and insulted.

even my own family ignores me in public and leaves me out to walk behind them when they are together, they literally pretend they dont know me and my parents said they are embrassed to be seen with me.

i dont leave my house unless i have to now because i am so ashamed of my looks, also i never leave my house without wearing a covid mask because i am scared people will see my face. and when i do leave my house, even though i am wearing a mask that covers most of my face, people still give me looks of disgust.

i am so tired of people saying it is so easy for girls to get guys and people saying girls have it easier. its not true if you’re ugly. guys never acknowledge my presence unless its to make mean jokes or to insult me. i was bullied all through out school and highschool for my apperance and nothing has changed, people are still so rude and mean to me everywhere i go. i try to avoid eye contact or looking at people so i dont weird them out because i look so hideous and creepy, but people still seem scared and uncomfortable around me even when i am just minding my own buisness.

some days i try to dress up but it doesnt matter in the end, people still treat me the same. it is obvious how differently and badly people treat me compared to others. i experience people be direct and blunt with me yet still be so nice and friendly with other people. i feel like i dont even deserve respect from anybody. its like i am always get targerted for people to use as their punching bag.

i feel like i give off bad vibes to people. people are so rude to me it does not even matter what i am doing. i always get yelled at, followed, threatened, and i have had people take pictures of me.

i swear there has never been an time where a stranger has been nice to me or given me a compliment.

i have bad anxiety issues so even leaving my house sends me into a panic attack, that with the fact that people love to hate me makes me loathe going outside. i cant even talk to people without shaking and suttering or just freezing up and going mute.

i am depressed and have no self esteem. i hate myself so much and just go through my days feeling empty, numb, unmovtiavted and useless. i feel like i deserve everything bad that happens.

also i am so stressed about getting a job because of how people treat me and my lack of social skills no body is going to want to have me for their job.
and because my social anxiety and depresson i am scared to get a any job because i know i am going to hate it and be miserable for the rest of my time.

i don’t want to live if this is how its going to be.