Is this normal: I feel so ‘out of place’ in nightclubs

27 comments

1. You have to find what makes you specifically happy. It could be a certain place or a certain night that could make a significant difference in your life. Dont force yourself to stay if you feel you shouldnt. Listen to yourself and you’ll find the right place. Theres many areas you could go to instead like a gym or a library. These will teach you more about yourself better and develop your skills and interests.

2. Were you buzzed or drunk? I totally think this feeling is normal because I sometimes feel the same way especially if I’m sober or close to sober when in a club. The one thing that honestly helps me get over this feeling, although not healthy, is drinking. The drunker I am the less I care about others perceive me and the more fun I find myself having.

3. Some people are just not into clubbing. Don’t waste time trying to force yourself into dancing and liking that atmosphere. Try suggesting different activities and doing things you enjoy.

4. I feel the same. I can be okay to begin with but feel more out of my comfort zone the longer I stay so I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like clubs and that’s okay. I prefer bars where you can sit and chat tbh

5. Most people who go to nightclubs are degenerate hedonist, whose purpose is sex,fun,drink,and drug.

   Find a better place bro

6. A fellow introvert here, I don’t feel at home in large crowds. I am more of cerebral person so alcohol consumption is at zero or minimal level. A club is where people go to have carefree fun, hook up, drink, do drugs etc and not my scene. There are more fun places, individual things or group things to do for introverts. I love car drifting, polo etc for adrenaline pump. I relate better on one on one interactions so do you. I have acquaintances whom have never bothered with clubbing and they have a fun life.

7. It’s normal, i had the same feeling when i went to nightclub with my friends. It just doesn’t feel fun for me. My kind of fun is more sport activity or hiking with friends.

8. I can’t stand nightclubs. Incredibly loud. There is nothing wrong with you at all. I like to go out to a places like [this](https://www.moxboardinghouse.com/). Good beer and can talk over a fun game.

9. I usually just go alone and don’t worry about making a fool of myself. I just do what I enjoy.

   But if you don’t enjoy it, just don’t do it.

10. >Then my inner critic starts to torment me that I am boring, and that I should be livelier.

    As teenagers we feel this huge pressure to conform to a certain ideal, to be ‘cool’.

    As you grow older you will accept who you are, which might include being ‘boring’ in certain ways. You will find other likeminded people who also don’t care for those things and have the time of your life.

    If you do want to work towards enjoying the clubbing scene I’d recommend taking dancing classes so you can feel confident, not awkward or self-conscious, doing your own thing showing your moves.

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12. >Then my inner critic starts to torment me that I am boring, and that I should be livelier.

    Being into getting drunk and dancing doesn’t make you boring. I absolutely hate dancing and sitting at a bar drinking, but I wouldn’t consider myself boring. I’m in welding school and create art projects on the side, I shoot archery, I’ve almost got my A license for skydiving, and I’m getting into cinematic drone flying to be able to post cool videos when I go camping.

    I personally think these things aren’t boring, they interest me infinitely more than hanging out at the bar and I feel like the quality of person I meet doing these activities are also way more interesting than those you’d find at a bar or club.

    I’m introverted as fuck and didn’t really start breaking out of my shell until I started pursuing the things that interested me rather than seeking places to meet people. I feel like once you start doing things you find interesting, the social aspect kind of comes with it. It’s not weird to pursue hobbies alone.

    But that’s just like, my opinion man. Take it for whatever you think it’s worth.

13. consider these:

    1- you have autistic traits

    2- you have adhd

    3- you have an introverted personality

14. I’m definitely an extrovert, and I don’t really like clubs. I like to dance with my friends however, but we’ll usually do it at a party or sometimes go to a smaller bar and dance there. I genuinely prefer to be somewhere quieter so I can chat with people though.

    The only time I had a crazy fun night at a club was when I did molly. But I wasn’t really hanging out with people, that was me zoning out to the music and dancing more or less alone, which I probably could have done at home lol

15. I have adhd. Late diagnosed. I hated clubs with a passion. The only thing that enabled me to feel like myself was cocaine, and I wouldn’t recommend that. Later on I was diagnosed with adhd and prescribed adderall, which made sense in the context of people with adhd self medicating. Now I’m older I feel like I *could* go to a club, but I don’t go. I no longer feel that peer pressure and I feel ok with saying no, because I know I hate them. I don’t drink now either.

    Part of it is large groups or crowds, everyone getting wasted, making an idiot of themselves. All the gestures are so big and attention seeking and if you don’t participate you fade into the background. I also have zero coordination so you can forget about dancing. These days I’ll turn down a club but I have a smaller group of friends who we invite round for game nights. There’s something to do without pressure to act the Center of attention (the game does that for you and the game moves the night along). I mean, I don’t like dancing, I’m not looking to go home with someone, why would I go to a club? If not a club I’d much rather go to a bar where I feel much more solid and tethered to a table, stool or bar. It feels much safer and much less awkward. But game nights (or skeeball, or an arcade, or bowling, where there’s something to do) are much more fun for me.

    Is there any reason you feel you have to go to a club?

16. If you don’t like it, don’t go. I’m in my late thirties now, But in my 20s all of my friends were big drinkers. We used to go out and do a lot of stuff and alcohol was always involved. I’m not friends with any of those people anymore. At some point I grew up and got out of the habit of all of that and had a kid. Looking back, all that ever did was perpetuate me spending time that I could’ve been doing something I really enjoyed, money that I would love to have in my pocket now, with people I could have built more solid connections with, and it made me fat. Bottom line, if you don’t take joy or anything else out of it then you need to drop the guilt part and find something you enjoy doing with people that you don’t feel isolated from.

17. It’s okay! You’re not boring for not liking clubs. I’m sure that there are other places that you’d find interesting and that’s fine too

18. well they kinda suck

19. When I was in my early 20s some of my friends loved going to clubs and I realized early on that it just wasn’t my thing. I don’t dance and I prefer talking, which is hard to do in a loud club. Instead I preferred going to watch live music or just going to a dive bar and chatting with friends. So that’s what I did, and I could always persuade a friend or two to join me.

20. There’s environments that are just never going to be acceptable. You couldn’t pay me to go to a night club. Like with people checking how cool you are at the door? With everyone inside blowing through money like it’s on fire for drinks while drugged out wenches attempt dancing to crappy music and males are supposed to try to attract them?
    There’s no situation where that’s a win, sorry.

    You couldn’t pay me to go golfing either. There’s no need to interact with the polo-wearers.

    Or fishing or hunting, pay a license fee to kill stuff that hasn’t hurt you and there’s more rules than you could reasonably follow and there’s all this gear to buy. Also even if you successfully end the life if the prey animal, to eat it there’s all kinds of gross stuff you have to do to prepare it. I’m glad for the other people who are into that so I don’t hit as many animals with my car.

    I’d just look for a bar or something with your friends where you can play darts or pool or some kind of game like that where you actually engage the people you’re with and maybe mix it up with some others.

    A night club just sounds like contrived social status hell for people that think they’re popular. Pass.

21. Nothing wrong with that, it’s funny because I just went to a club last night and I felt like I didn’t belong. I just don’t feel comfortable asking random girls to dance and drinking all night around random strangers. I’ve gone to clubs plenty of times and it’s the same outcome. Sometimes you have to realize certain things just aren’t for you no matter how much you try to force yourself to enjoy it.

22. Yep I’m also out of place there. Last time I went, a group of chads begam humiliating me. That was one of my first suicide attemmpts that night

23. Yeah pretty normal

24. Yes it’s normal, that’s how clubs convince you to spend money on booze all night.

25. Nope I’m the same way. I just don’t like nightclubs or being out drinking. I used to be self conscious about it but now I know that’s me and I’m happy with it. Put me in a small music venue club though with a band I like and it’s complete opposite, feel totally at home.

26. There are a few where I feel great, and many where I have to work at it. When looking for great nightlife, try to find your people.

27. Same goes for me. I don’t like parties in general cause of the loud music and drunken party animals around me. I have social anxiety so being at party is like visiting hell. I don’t judge myself tho, I understand that loud parties are just not my thing and it’s perfectly fine.