We’ve been engaged for about a year now after dating for about three years. Those three years were really good with a lot of great moments. But now, after we’ve both graduated college and have become teachers, things have taken a huge turn. Teaching is definitely tough, and I am very good at managing my stress levels and not taking my work home, but my fiancé comes home stressed out on a daily basis (though, she will not admit this). My fiancé by nature is a very energetic and happy woman, but ever since taking this teaching job, she has been at most low-energy, if not angry and/or stressed. She is also one of those people who feeds off of her environment a lot. So if she comes home to an even slightly disorganized home, she immediately gets stressed as a result of that.
Every morning I wake up I give her a hug and I tell her I love her multiple times a day. We go out to eat frequently as our date nights and we watch movies together while cuddling. All in all, I’d say I do a fairly good job at expressing my love to her. Could it be better? Sure, but as a tired teacher I’m doing the best that I can.
Last night, we got into a “you don’t love me” argument which led to her questioning if we should break it off. Her reasoning stems from 2 or 3 situations in the past number of months where I didn’t do what she expected. Things like arguments, or doing her favors. Things such as “if you loved me, you wouldn’t have gotten angry with me” or “if you loved me, you would have done this for me without hesitation.”
I wouldn’t consider my fiancé to be depressed, but she does have anxiety in certain situations. I just feel like I’m being held to such a high standard of what she is expect from a partner – a standard that is quite impossible for anyone to meet. Is this behavior/attitude common? I sincerely don’t know what to do.
TL;DR My fiance wants to end things because she doesn’t believe I love her. I do things on a daily basis to display my love, but she feels like it’s not enough.