It’s always been on my mind but ever since turning 31 it’s an almost debilitating dread. You hear of people on their 20s and 30s getting anyeurisms or heart attacks and now every little pain or ache I get I think “this is it”.
Even if we’re the 9/10 who make it past 60, we’re literally halfway there.
I’m not asking for advice or support. I understand it’s something we all have to deal with but I just want to get an idea of whether most other men deal with it at this level, especially after hitting 30.
31 comments
I definitely do. If the hospital sees something odd and I have to wait for scans or a scope to find out, I’m pretty much panicking and eating klonopin until they tell me I’m good lol
It sounds crazy I know but my own sense of mortality didn’t hit me until well into my mid to late 20’s, I’m 30 now and everyday I’m reminded of my own pending death and am super aware of the loss of life around me. I understand how precious and short life is and am a better person because of it. I genuinely feel for the lives of not just other humans but other creatures that are cut short by our own hands. Life is pretty cruel on a fundamental level, for so much of our existence it’s ’eat or be eaten’, ‘kill or be killed’. I think it’s all a simulation anyway so no need to stress. Just live a life that feels right to you and listen to your instincts.
Im turning 43 this year. Im definitely at least halfway to eternity. And yet it feels like it was a few years since i was this young optimistic 19-year-old and only the sky was the limit.
Nope, not at all. I’m in my mid-late 30s now and I figure it’ll hit me when it hits me. Until then I just eat well and stay fit. Why worry about something you have no control over?
Totally, and it got worse when my grandpa passed away two years ago. However I try to use that felling to live a happier life and really squeeze every happy moment I have.
I was fine until the parents died. They died from smoking related things, not a habit I ever picked up, but it still made me think. I’m trying to be healthier.
My dad died at 58 randomly from a heart attack last year September.
Mortality definitely hits me hard. Most likely due to the grieving process, but technically at 30 I still see it as I am young, nothing drastically changed for me from my 20s yet. So as long as I stay the course, I should be fine in my 30s. Another thing, you are 30 my dude. I bet you don’t remember most of those years and even your baby years, and if you go back 10 years from now to see the stuff you said, I am sure you may not even remember some conversations. Should tell you that you got a lot more time left on this planet called Earth and age is really just a number.
But nothing is promised of course. But given the stats I see when it comes to death in our age groups, its the least likely thing to worry about right now. Dropping dead in 20s and 30s is not common, it happens but the media amplifies it a bit more.
I am sure you will be fine OP. Hang in there.
Nope. I’m eagerly awaiting it. Life is boring and tedious
I don’t, but I’m not a standard case. I did 20 years in the army, and spent several of those overseas, in places where death was a fact of life. I guess once I thought about it, death is always a fact of life. We don’t get to choose when or how short of suicide, so I don’t spend too much time worrying about it. I just live my life and try to be a positive particle in a cosmos of chaos.
I struggle knowing I have to keep going for at least another 40 years.
Turning 32 this year and literally not at all.
I truely believe that if I can survive until I’m 60, technology will be at a point where human life expectancy will have increased tremendously.
Obviously external factors could take me first, but they’re out of my control and no point worrying about them.
Nah, it happened when I got my first chest pains at 38.
😀
Yes I can absolutely relate
you’ve got “health anxiety” see a therapist
31, it’s all hitting me this past year too.
I have spent a couple times this year in the ER for 10 hours all alone, phone dead, waiting for a diagnosis. I had that “well this is it” thought for sure.
I just wish I didn’t make my life so hard up to this point. No matter how hard I have worked, I have always came up short. I like to think my come back story will be the greatest story ever told.
But every year that passes is just a reminder of my mortality. I never had the money, the girls, the love, the experiences etc. But I am still confident I will have it all.
We are only in our 30s. It would be different if we were 50. (not knocking the older guys)Be grateful for our youth.
No, I made 40 and am more worried about my parent’s mortality than my own.
Just turned 40 and it’s slowing down. Kind of just accept it after a while and try to enjoy each day. It’s a waste of time and energy to worry about it. I still do but less and less each year.
Every day. It’s not healthy though. Live your life
I think I thought about it the most around those years, for one reason or another.
Then a lot of life happened, and some light psychedelic use as well, coupled with listening to stuff like Alan Watts. Now I’m pretty much ok with death whenever, I’m just uncomfortable with the possibility of getting an injury that limits my movement, since I’m enjoying sports and being active more than I have done since I was 12 (I’m 42).
In my 50s and still in denial of adulthood, let alone mortality.
A lot, yes. I’ve always had an issue with it, partly because of my mental health and partly because my family history is, like, “suicide at 30, if not then heart attack at 50, if not then cancer before 70” and I had several health scares in my twenties that could flare up at any time and kill me. But when I hit 30 is when it felt like yeah, this is it, this is the end. I’ve had a few scares since where I legitimately thought I was going to die and sat around and waited for it, and I’ve been on “I’m not been making it to the end of the year” for, well, passively for about twenty years but it really picked up in the last five or so since turning 30, yeah. I’m not making it to 40, I know that, so a lot of it feels like waiting out the clock.
36 here. Some days I feel old. Most I’m stiff and tired.
But I own a house, married, 4 dogs “kids”, kids soon?, but I still need an adult lol.
I had that happen to me at 50. It wasn’t something I thought about at all at 30.
Nah, I’ve had a good run.
Did what I wanted, kids are raised, off in the world and positive well functioning adults that will be good. My business made it to where I wanted. All I am doing now is enjoying the bumpy ride of life and elderly parents that are almost gone. Then making sure those I leave behind are taken care of.
I am not religious, generally think there is nothing after this but if for some reason their is. I hope the whiskey is good.
Welcome to mid life crisis. And also welcome to your 60s. lol.
I definitely do have some health anxiety. I think I fear less about dying and more about living with some disability or disease. I think maybe just because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it mentally.
Life is a gift that we need to make the most of every day. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.
All you can do is plan. Make sure your family is set up to carry on without you, if it does happen.
I’m not worried about dying because, well, I’ll be dead.
Not sure if this relates to you OP but I suffered a similar mindset in my early 30s. Turns out it was the weed causing my thoughts to go dark, and what is the darkest thoughts of all, the inevitable end to it all.
After about 3/4 days the thoughts started dissipating and another 3 to 4 days after that they were gone.
I’m in my 40’s. This life will kill you eventually so what we’re really talking about is risk management. Endless hand wringing can become pathological. It needs to be managed or it will begin to manifest as detrimental symptoms.
In my opinion what you’re experiencing is lucidity. You know what can go wrong. probably witnessed it go wrong with yourself or others. Being alive is extremely risky. So many ways to die. So many ways to suffer. What can you control? What can’t you? Manage the risks but keep your eye on the ball. Life is about living. So do.
For whatever reason, I struggled with mortality much earlier in life. It plagued me as a teen and all through my 20s. But so far in my 30s, a switch has flipped. The sense of dread has become a sense of urgency. I no longer feel like I have the luxury of time to feel bad or sorry for myself. Instead, I want to hurry and do everything before my time is up.