Hi reddit.
I (21F) have been deeply unhappy in my relationship since October. We live together in a student studio accommodation. We had been together 2 and a half years and before October, our relationship felt good, he was deeply romantic and attached to me, always positive. He would write me poetry. While he is still a good partner in some aspects, acts of service especially, he often makes little to no effort because he knew I couldn’t leave
Some of these issues have always been present, but he never makes an effort with my friends, would try to tear my friendship apart by building upon my insecurities of being left out. He constantly belittles my university work and dissertation, feels he is superior to me. I have lived with his parents for 6 months and I am very close to them, he has met mine 2 times.
Yesterday, I decided to break up with him while he was away for a week. It was the only decision that didn’t make me feel completely miserable in the long run. Although we live together, we have 4 days until University ends for a month, he was planning to go home to his parents anyway. However we also have another 3 weeks of university after that month, and we share a class, and of course we have to live together during all of this…
He handled it terribly, at first he took it okay, but he said i’m completely selfish for breaking up during this period, that i’m sabotaging his university work, that I am doing this on purpose and he resents me. That he didn’t see how our relationship was THAT bad, and he would have preferred me to stay silent about this until university ended. He has now blocked me on twitter, basically every social media, and deleted his instagram.
I have communicated several times about the things that need to improve, and they haven’t. This should not be a shock. I have sat him down countless times to express I desire more affection, more effort, less belittling.
In my opinion, if you truly love someone, you would want them to be happy. I think this behaviour shows his preference to his own feelings and himself than to the long term damage that i’ve been undertaking alone, and his lack of ability to self-reflect and communicate with me.
How do I go about living with him for another week (followed by 4 weeks apart and 3 weeks back living together since university ends in May) Maybe it have been better to remain silent few 2 more months.