This has happened mostly in a university setting. I’ll be in a group of four where two people already know each other and the other guy and myself had just recently met.
At the beginning, things usually flow well but when we have a guy with an assertive/controlling attitude things start going left when we question him or suggest things. He literally only opens his mouth to assert himself and push his agenda on the rest of the group (his partner will always support him and the other person I just met is passive and hates making waves so he submits to the guy without questioning his authority).
In my case, I also don’t like conflict but I am willing to speak my mind and not be ashamed to do so. This guy in the group sees me as problematic and always gets more aggressive when I suggest something different or if I pointed out a mistake he made which costed all of us our grade. He calls my argument ridiculous and self deprecates himself first before attacking my reasoning. His partner is not reasonable at all and only looks to see me submit. I’ve been called out for having a sh***y ego by his partner and told that I’m the joke of the year.
Long story short, the guy ended up excluding me from a meeting he had to work on the project with the guy I just met in the group and he was asking him questions about me like why do I hate him etc. He didn’t like how my friend told him how nice I am and he just stopped talking about me.
The guy (controller) ended up accusing me that if I hadn’t been spending so much time looking at my feet when I pass by then and act like a big man behind my phone when I’m at home, the interactions would’ve been simpler. I ended up threatening to punch him in his mouth if he insulted me again (this was his second time doing it freely) and he blocked me. I sent an apology the next day and asked him to just ignore what I said and wished him and his family a happy holiday.
How do I better manage these types of people and am I the problem in this situation ?