Hi. I’m not really sure where else to turn, I suppose. My partner and I haven’t really had sex in months and they tried to initiate today but I was out, and I came home as fast as I could and when I finally got home they were no longer feeling it. This isn’t an issue for me! I know, logically, that I did not do anything and that they do find me attractive, they just struggle with anxiety and seasonal depression and weather changes etc (it’s been winter here). I also have attempted to be very clear that if they change their mind at any point, I would much rather that than accidentally assaulting them or pushing them too far. I just wish I knew how to not be so sensitive to rejection about it. Again, logically, I’m not even upset that they changed their mind. I’m just frustrated with myself that my main reaction is to cry and feel shame and guilt. I know that it’s all within myself as shame that I was so excited about sex and guilt that I wanted it so bad, and it really hurts them and it’s not fun for me either. We have discussed in length and they know they haven’t done anything, I was just wondering if there were any pointers or things I could or should consider to stop internally taking rejection as a ‘you fucked up’ or ‘I don’t find you attractive anymore.’
Thanks in advance! I hope this makes sense. Typing it out makes things feel a little better regardless, but I also am still incredibly embarrassed that it causes such an unwanted reaction when I know logically I do not feel that way.