I will try to keep the question short, but context is needed.
I (35f), was bullied by (almost) all my male classmates when I went to junior high (I am not American, but that would be the equivalent) for being “ugly”.
One of my bullies I have had a crush on since he first walked in to our classrom in what, 2002? Let’s just say my first words were “Hi *name*”, and his first words were “I am not fucking interestes in you”. I know, fun times. 🥳
Thing is, I met this “wonderful” person again when I was 18 and drunk as a skunk, and this is how it went:
Me: “Hey, do you know who I am?”
Him: “Yeah”
Me: “You know, I was so fucking in love with you when we went to school”
Him: “I liked you to”
Me: “Want to make out?”
Yeah.. we made out, and I touched his private parts 🫡 It ended very quickly though when he asked me to “suck on it” in a parking lot and I just laughed.
Met him again at around 23/24 years old, at a reunion. Now this is the tricky part, I know I have stupid feelings for this “stupid” man, but I behaved badly. All he said was “Hi *my name*”, and I looked at him, and behaved like he did all those years ago.
So the circle should be complete now.. but for some reason I cannot let this man go. It has been 22 YEARS of pain/hate/sorrow everytime I think of him.
I have not been single until now since I was 18. One part of me wants to contact him, let him show me he is still an asshole (sacrificing some/a lot of dignity in the process), and the other part wants me to let the guy go. But it is bugging me..
Should we act on unresolved feelings or not? 🫣