I feel like I might be autistic but I’m not sure because I struggle quite a bit socially but don’t have many other signs of it. The main one is I really struggle holding a conversation with ANYONE, and a lot of the time I don’t even want to be talking if it’s with close friends or family. For as long as I can remember I would interact with people in short sentences but never really try to engage in a conversation. Like I’d tell coworkers I really like a certain music artist they had mentioned and then I’d stop talking. I really only keep a conversation going if it’s something I’m very interested in. 95% of the dialogue between my friends my entire life have been making random jokes and quips with rarely any actual discussion happening.
I really didn’t realize communicating like this was different until about last summer when I turned 20. For the first 19 years of my life I straight up did not realize that basically everyone else could just have a conversation on the spot and keep it going. This realization led me to develop pretty bad social anxiety for about 8 months. Since then I got help at an outpatient program and the anxiety is mostly gone, but I still struggle to hold a conversation with my closest friends and family and this is making me think I may have autism.
Other potential signs of autism I see in myself are doing basically the same thing each and every day. I wake up and go to my anxiety program, make a chicken sandwich or burger for lunch (rarely anything else) then play overwatch for a few hours before listening to music for the rest of the day. It’s been this way for months now and before that it was a very similar routine. Additionally, I get very upset when a change in my daily plans happens. My roommate had a concert they were playing in that they didn’t tell me until the day of and it ruined my mood for the rest of the night (I still went because I did want to support them).
I feel my social struggles may indicate Autism, but without showing many other signs of it I question if I am or not. What do you guys think?