What I’m asking is, how did you manage to feel safe and secure? I (F, 29) was in a toxic relationship last year for 2 years, the guy (27, M) must’ve left me 7 times and we got back together. I was on edge constantly thinking he’d leave me if I had a small issue with something. He had cheated etc. I finally realised my worth and worked on myself. I wasn’t looking for anyone and then met this guy (26, M) at the gym. We’re taking things slow and he is absolutely gorgeous and lovely. I think my self esteem is on the floor because I’m baffled why such a handsome man would want me. He is very open, communicates well, kind and funny. But because of this I’m confused. I spoke to my therapist and he said it’s because I’m used to chaos and not knowing where I stand. But because of this, I’m starting to feel cracks and worry he’s gonna leave. I’m truly working on myself and shared my worries with him and he told me I don’t need to feel this way. My therapist said he will help me alter my ways of thinking, so I am trying! I did work on myself but just found being with someone new a year, on I am still insecure. Still in disbelief this handsome and lovely guy wants me. Any tips would be great! lol!
TL;DR! How do I settle in a healthy relationship when I have been in a toxic one in the past? Do you have any strategies?