My bf and i started dating officially more than a month ago, but we’ve known each other for almost a year. Before we officially started dating, the most we did was make out, but nothing went further than that. But after we started dating, he started coming to my place every weekend to stay over. Not too long ago, we were making out and he asked me if he could touch me and i said yes, and then he fingered me. Personally, i just felt weird laying there and not doing anything FOR him , so I naturally touched his penis, and he cummed. And then he hugged me and started panicking a little bit, and i asked him if he was okay, he said “can you ask me before you touch me”. And then i immediately start apologising. I told him that i was in the wrong for not asking, and i shouldnt have assumed his consent basically. And then he was like its just a trauma response and its not my fault. He said that he’s comfortable with me and he wants it too. He doesnt know why he reacted like that. And THEN HE STARTED APOLOGISING. I kept asking him to stop apologising becuz it simply isnt his fault, and i told him that it’s okay for him to feel bad about this situation and be mad at me and hold me accountable. But he still kept telling me that he ruined everything and that its his fault. He kept asking me if i was mad at him or disappointed in him. After all of this, he slept for a while and i was awake the whole time. When he woke up, he started making out with me again, and made me touch him. He said he’s okay with it and he wants it.
We’re all good now. But i just cant stop thinking about what happened . I feel terrible about what happened and dont know what the right thing to do is. Feeling very lost right now. Any take on this situation would be appreciated.
P.s. as horrible as this sounds, is it wrong to assume someone’s giving their consent to touch them, if they’re actively touching you?