I find myself facing a challenging situation in my relationship and would greatly appreciate your advice and insights. Here’s what’s been weighing on my mind.
I’m a (25F) with a master’s degree and six years of professional working experience. However, my boyfriend (26M)**has never had a job and dropped out of university. While we deeply love each other, I’m growing increasingly concerned about his ability to provide for our future.
We want to get married within a year and he assures me that he can take care of me and promises a comfortable life, but the truth is he has relied on his parents for financial support for as long as we’ve been together. This reliance has left me questioning his capacity to become self-sufficient and independent.
Financial stability holds significance in a relationship, and I’m hesitant to enter a relationship where I may face financial struggles, especially considering my own qualifications and life experiences. I’m not interested in assuming the role of a caretaker or sacrificing my own growth for someone else’s.
Adding to my concerns, he mentions wanting to have children five years after getting married. While I understand the need for establishing oneself, his uncertain path towards stability within that timeframe raises doubts. This timeline would have me in my 30s, and I worry about the pressures of my biological clock in such a situation.
Moreover, my boyfriend has never faced significant challenges in life, which leaves me uncertain about his ability to navigate the complexities of adult responsibilities.
While we share a deep emotional connection, it’s important to note that we’re not married yet, and I still have the choice to determine our future. My parents, who genuinely want the best for me, share their doubts about his ability to provide a comfortable life for me. The thought of separation pains me, but I cannot disregard the importance of financial stability.
I have no doubts about my own ability to earn a living, but it’s crucial for him to develop self-sufficiency and independence. Unfortunately, he often dismisses his mother’s advice and makes excuses when it comes to finding employment. He lacks the financial means to support a committed partnership and a household.
I’ve made efforts, alongside his mother, to encourage him to seek employment or explore entrepreneurial ventures. However, he consistently presents excuses, avoiding physically demanding jobs and expressing reluctance to work long hours. I’m at a loss as to how far I can push someone, as I’m unwilling to repeat past experiences of shouldering someone else’s responsibilities. I’ve regretted those situations deeply, and I cannot envision a future with someone who consistently makes promises but fails to take action.
I’m reaching out to this community in the hopes of gaining insights and advice from those who may have faced similar challenges. How did you navigate such situations? What suggestions do you have for me?