My husband and I have been married for 6 years, known each other for 9 years – we’re both 25 and share a son. We were very close in the beginning but for as long as I can remember we’ve always had disagreements. The last 2 years feel like it’s been the worst and we’ve probably argued every other day.
I changed my lifestyle overnight since moving in with in-laws and gave up a lot since getting married (we live on our own now). I grew up gaming so I understand how much it means to him, however I feel like his gaming addiction is taking a huge toll on our marriage. He wakes up and plays his game, he comes home from work and plays his game, on his off days he’s gaming. He doesn’t greet me anymore. Goes straight to his game room. Tells me I’m overreacting or nagging. And says a lot of hurtful things when I try to communicate with him. I wish I was exaggerating but when he’s not gaming, he’s glued to his phone or watching tv.
My husband loves me, there’s no doubt about that. He’s always expressed that he’s lucky to have me. My husband has never had to clean or cook or help around the house before marriage. I grew up with brothers who did thus I never witnessed or believed much in gender-roles. The only help I ask of him is to clean up his game room, not leave garbage and dishes around, and to simply put away things after using them. My husband’s excuse for everything is “I work, you don’t. I’m tired. You were home/free all day why can’t you”. I don’t think I’m asking for much, just the bare minimum.
When I worked, my husband was unemployed for some time and was gaming all day. I still came home and cooked/cleaned, made no excuses. And I’m currently in school so my schedule is not “free all day”. We’ve had arguments because he refused to take garbage out, run errands, accompany me to an appointment.
*I don’t cook or clean every day. I try to as much as I can. There’s times our sink is full of dishes and our laundry isn’t folded for weeks. My husband gets mad but doesn’t say anything until he explodes one day. Just wondering, why is that something to get mad about? It’s me who cleans up at the end of the day. My husband refuses to pick up a plate and wash it, he’d rather use a napkin. Plates and garbage will be piling up on his gaming desk for weeks. I find it very hypocritical.
I feel like we’re at a stage in our marriage where it’s too late and I’m starting to resent him. This is only a fraction of it. I’m mentally exhausted. I used to cry every day and now I physically can’t.