My friend asked me to enter a FWB relationship with him a few years ago. I’ve always been attracted to him and wanted a relationship, so I declined. In the past we have gone substantial amounts of time not speaking to each other. Over the last four years, I started relaxing on the no sexual contact of our relationship. So we kind of started the FWB thing. Usually he ghosts me when he meets a new girlfriend, but eventually comes back. The last time he did that was in 2021.
Over the last two years he’s been saying he loves me. I’m so in love with him but we live in different states. I’ve offered to fly him to where I live for a romantic week together a few times and he always declines because he helps take care of his grandma. I’m unable to go where he lives due to that I have a seizure disorder that over the years has been extreme.
He texts me sporadically, and I really want to be in a relationship. A few months ago, I asked him to please leave me alone. I don’t want to date anyone but him, but it’s not working. He reassures me he is in love with me and so I didn’t block his number but did block him on social media. He was texting me until last month. Now my message sits unopened.
Do I text him? Do I keep it no contact and try to move on? Why tell someone you’re in love with them if you have no interest in seeing them? I’m so confused. I want to be his so badly it actually hurts. I’d love nothing more than to walk into a restaurant and be on his arm. He’s the most handsome man in the world. What is wrong with me? How do I figure out how I’ve let this man become such a sore spot in my life?
I realize I need to work on myself and I’ve really tried to this last year. But why lead someone on like this?
Tl;dr FWB has been telling me he’s in love with me but makes no effort to come see me or even text me consistently. After telling me he’s in love with me after I asked him to quit leading me on, he hasn’t even opened my messages in a month. Do I text him?
2 comments
What’s the point? What would texting him change? You want a relationship, he isn’t interested, it’s been this way for years, it didn’t change even after he told you he had feelings for you. So what would yet another text achieve? Block his number better late than never and start moving on.
You need to block him for your own mental health. He will never be the person you want him to be, and you have already given him years of your life. Just accept that he isn’t the catch you think he is, and focus on yourself (preferably with a therapist, mine has been a life saver.)