Apologies if this is a poor writeup, but I haven’t been able to figure out how to word this.
I have been dating my girlfriend for over half a year. In terms of love, we care about each other more than anyone in any relationship I’ve ever been in. However I have a few problems I’m running into and I don’t know how to address them or if I should just end the relationship.
1) I’m having lots of doubts as to if I truly love her romantically, or if I simply care for her a lot and enjoy the affection. Sometimes I find it hard to imagine us doing romantic things, and I find myself very rarely flirting with them, I spend a lot of time doing my own thing, and I’m worried that maybe I do just see them as a friend. But when I think about breaking up I get very upset because all of our time together and all our photos and everything means so much to me. Additionally, our relationship as people in general is very great and I don’t want to ruin it or push them away. We are very very close and it’s something I don’t want to change.
2) My girlfriend puts me on a pedestal and acts like her life revolves around me. She has very anxious attachment issues as well and not too much seems to be going for her outside of our relationship. Normally this wouldn’t be a problem but it does extend to be stressful on me and combined with the first problem I mentioned, it feels less like I have a girlfriend and more like I’m taking care of someone.
I have been going back and forth on this and I even mentioned some of my thoughts to her. We are still together as of this post, and I would like to stay together if these issues are addressable, or I would like to end the relationship ASAP and not lead someone on for longer than I should, if that is the right decision. I just have no idea what to do. Is it normal to feel these ways, or is this red flag for a relationship?
TL;DR – I’m not sure if my feelings are truly romantic or not, and my relationship feels more like caretaking than a two way commitment. In spite of this, we both love each other very much, I just don’t know if a commitment to a relationship is the best for us.