F20. A virgin who doesn’t even have a first kiss.
My friends always talk about how orgasm are relaxing them and how they are masturbating. I avoid the question. I had a friend ask me and i asked her why is she asking me this. She said she can’t get herself there by masturbating. She needs a partner so she can get to the point. I don’t know if this is the same situation as mine because I practically have no rizz and will probably die a virgin.
I tried masturbating before. I watched porn. It just didn’t happen. I got annoyed and i stopped. The thing is i wasn’t wet. Every time i masturbate i am dry. Nothing gets me wet. On my period i am always wet but thats blood.
I have never used toys before. I can’t hide them so nope its going to be awkward. I don’t know if toys would help. If i get some i wont get toys that i will have to shove inside. Many people say they can only orgasm from toys. I am not in the best financial position so i dont want to spend money on something that wont work.
I heard that i get horny when my bladder is full not because i have a kink for it but rather the bladder stimulates the g spot or something.
I love the fantasy of sex but i wont mind dying a virgin(two days in a month i get pissy about it but then i realise i am ovulating) or dating an asexual person. People say they can’t live without orgasms but i can. But it’s weird that nothing works for me and i am too scared to try toys.
Also is it normal to be horny but dry as Sahara Desert? Is any of this i mentioned here normal? Am i asexual(i am convinced i am demisexual)? But do asexual like the fantasy of sex? Could it be a health issue(not getting wet when horny)? I am too scared of getting checked especially that i know they will shove something inside me and it will hurt since Ive never had anything inside me. In practice i reject guys in theory i have sexual fantasies. What is wrong with me? My lack of sex ED at my age is disappointing and weird. I am sorry for the stupid questions.
24 comments
Maybe you should get some loop and try listen to some audio which arouses you maybe you’ll get in the mood
I believe you should be enjoying it. I can’t say for sure why you’re not.
U better learn then because if and when u get married the sex stops
I think it’s totally fine if you don’t like to masturbate .. my wife claims she has never played with herself for her own personal enjoyment (solo) .. the only time she touches herself is with me and because she knows I love to watch .. I can’t speak to some of your other topics though..
Hi, I am demisexual! I have never really enjoyed masturbating and did not particularly enjoy sex for most of my life. It wasn’t something I really thought about, I’d get excited reading smut that was good but that was about it, lol. With my partner I’m horny all the time and can get off, he’s the only one I’ve ever experienced that feeling with. You could be any flavor of ace, for sure!
Hey girl, I’m 28f. A lot of women may struggle to get wet, have you ever used lube before? It’s actually pretty common. If you have, maybe check out the gyno, they can certainly help. Also, if they do stick sometjing inside or you, like a vaginal ultrasound, they lube it up. It’s actually not terrible as I don’t get super wet either
I’m also on the ace spectrum and I legit could never have an orgasm or any sexual stimulation for eternity and I’d be so happy. You are not alone
I went out with a woman that didn’t feel the need or want to self pleasure. It just wasn’t her. I think there’s a lot of women out there that are like that. Nobody else occupies your body with you except you. Your friends are not in there with you and you’re not obligated to be like them.
Well from a guys point of view. If a woman is dry then i use oral and lube. One of my lady friends had a hysterectomy and after that she lost her natural wetness though her desire and needs never changed. I did go out with a woman that kind of freaked me out at first. It was the first time i’ve come across someone like her. She wasn’t the foreplay type and just forced me in when dry. I mean i was trying to get her revved up but she would always jump on me position me in place or herself and straight in. it was painful til her natural lubrication within eased it.
So yeah, everyones different. You will find how you are as time goes along. It might be you have to build it and it will change as you get older. You’ll be fine.
I think people assume that they’re alone if they’re a 20 year old virgin but its WAAY more common than people think. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you, you just haven’t had the experience yet and learned your body. It’s part of growing up into adulthood and you’re still really young. I feel like you’re stressing about trying to “diagnose” yourself with a problem because of anxiety but you don’t know for sure that anything is wrong. People in social communities online will convince you that everything needs a label and we need our sex information and gender identifiers in our profiles for everyone to see, but that’s just not the case in real life. I think when you start meeting people and spending time together in real life, and learn to navigate those social situations better, the sexual stuff will just come natural. When you start having partners and the hormones start flowing, that’s usually when you and your partners start learning your body and how it works, what it likes etc. Personally I’m not really into floggin the dolphin like most guys my age. I’m content with sex two or three times a week with my partner and just taking time off between then. However I’m 38, as a young teenager I beat the skin off of it lol.
If you decide to have the kid and the father is against it, just be prepared to be a single mom. Kids are a one no 2 yes type of situation.
I’m a dry gal, always have been. Lube works great.
I couldn’t orgasm from internal stimulation for many years. A cheap little Amazon back massager is my bff. Only over my underwear tho. Too strong on my clit otherwise. I think I paid $8 for it. Also, lube makes a huge difference in most situations!
Everyone is their own person, so no need to feel like there’s something wrong with you. It’s more common than you think to not masturbate or to not actively (or even passively) pursue sexual activity.
If you’re imagining sex, but don’t feel the need to engage (even in self pleasure), you might be on the ace spectrum (aegosexual). You’ll probably find similar posts in that subreddit.
No matter the outcome from this post, please find an OBGYN bc you’re at the age that regular pap smears should be done (generally every 2-3 years unless there’s an atypical finding). I prefer female OBs and from your experience, you probably would too, and you can request that when you schedule an appointment. No matter the sex, there should always be a second person present (usually a nurse or PA) for everyone’s safety. The OB can definitely answer any and all questions, no matter how awkward, and help you learn more about your body and sexuality ❤️
Why are you masturbating? Are you masturbating because your friends masturbate? If that’s the case just wait it out till you find a man. Being a virgin at 20 is not a bad thing especially for a woman. Also I think you being aroused first will help so porn could be too hardcore for your virgin eyes. Try an erotic movie like “Submission” or an audio of some erotic book. There’s even a sexual audio group here in Reddit you can check out too.
If getting wet is your only problem then just use lube. Easy.
Tho it sounds like you just don’t like masterbating much which is totally ok too
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’re young sweet girl you have lots of time ❤️
I’ve been with several women who don’t masturbate but they could orgasm from PIV or other means.
One of the first things I ask my partner is to watch her masturbate so that I know what she likes… So it’s somewhat inconvenient when she doesn’t masturbate!
Did I say inconvenient I meant moments of discovery!
I hate masturbating with my hand, but I love vibrators. You can get one for like 10 bucks if you just want to try it out first, but if you’d like it, I’d suggest getting a better one. It’s not abnormal to not be very interested in sex and it’s nothing to worry about. But, if you occasionally get horny like you say, you probably aren’t asexual. You just have a very low libido. Don’t feel bad about it, and don’t do anything you don’t wanna do just to feel normal.
I am like you. You are not alone. It’s really hard living in a sex obsessed world. Just do what makes you happy, if it doesn’t make you happy, don’t do it. In reality, there is zero pressure, even though it really feels like there is. Sex should be fun, but if it’s not for you, don’t let it make you feel broken. Everyone is different and I am sure you find pleasure and joy and comfort in many other things. There is nothing wrong with that and you aren’t missing out on anything if that thing that you’re “missing” doesn’t feel good to you anyway.
So i didn’t start masturbating until i was the ripe age of 18, and never had an orgasm for over a year of doing it! I just COULDNT get myself to the point because i didn’t know what i was suppose to feel and it didn’t feel great… I experimented and used an electric toothbrush, cheap, easy to hide (was living at home) and let me tell you, it WORKED. it was the first and the BEST orgasm i ever had to this day, 6 years later!! good luck on your journey
F(18) Not even joking I had this exact situation just only 2 weeks ago. I thought I was asexual since I couldnt get off from porn and when horny never really thinking of masterbating.
Until last week, I tried to find what I enjoyed, you might just not like the porn you were watching thus couldnt get you wet. You need to be pretty patient when you find one you think you like too. It took me 1.5hrs to reach my first orgasm ever and this was only a week ago so im still quite new.
From there you will start feeling like masterbating once horny, trust me. You just need to find the stuff you like to watch. You might like audio stuff, eg. Males masterbating, or you might like the more romantic porn which is more realistic, lol just search up eg. On pornhub theres an account called Lenarica or something like that, try them.
As for dryness, its normal to use lube, so definetly try that, hiding it might be an issue but lube definitely helps as stated in other comments.
Hope this helps but dont stress, i felt exactly how you did until recent. Good luck!! And if you figure out youre not into masterbating thats also normal!
I have another question, why would you need to hide a toy? You’re 20, you’re an adult. Even if you still lived with your folks surely you have some degree of privacy and respect from them that you are an adult and will have sexual thoughts yes? Where do you keep clothes if you don’t have a dresser or a closet? Heck you could keep it in you pillowcase
Do your parents do scans of your room or something? Roommates go through your stuff? Also your apologies and self defeating thoughts sound very much like someone with low self esteem. The more I read this post the more I’m feeling that your life circumstances and your feelings towards them are having a larger effect on your enjoyment than you you may know.
I used to be so similar to you – people would be really surprised when I told them I don’t masturbate because I didn’t like it, but at the same time I had loads of sexual fantasies and felt horny all the time – and when it came to actual sexual situations I was turned off. Some people can just give or take sexual pleasure and I am one of those people.
I swear people over exaggerate how wet they get/in porn its faked, or it just varies a lot from person to person. I drink loads of water so thats not an issue but ive had people comment that I’m not very wet before and I’ve had to swear I’m into it lol. That being said if its completely dry down there with little discharge at all and you’re drinking enough water – coffee, juice, soft drinks don’t count – (2 litres or more a day) then it might be something to get checked out. They will only do a vaginal exam if actually necessary.
The only way I managed to like masturbating was by using lube and only really stimulating the outside. In terms of sex I found that receiving head was something that I was actually into, especially because you don’t have to be wet for it.
Please don’t feel ashamed about your lack of experience and education! Hope this helps.
Find a good smutty book. I’m not interested in porn (not my thing) but I love a good spicy book! Also, there are some pretty simple and inexpensive toys at Target in the intimacy area.
You absolutely do not need to enjoy masturbation, but those are my hot tips of you even have a little bit of interest in it.