lI [M23] went on two great dates with a girl [F23] in January. Prior to this, I had only ever been on first dates that went nowhere or had one night stands.
We had sex on the second date – I was super nervous and the sex wasn’t good at all. She ghosted me the next day and I haven’t heard from her since. I’ve been very depressed since. 4 months later I still feel shitty, unwanted, and inadequate.
I’ve been out with 3 other girls since then – one first date, one second date, and another second date where I hooked up with the girl and she invited me around again. But I didn’t feel a connection with any of these girls the way I felt it with the girl who ghosted me.
Nonetheless, 4 months is an awfully long time to be hung up over a girl I only went on 2 dates with and only knew for 2 weeks. Regardless, I can’t stop comparing every new girl I meet or match with on dating apps to her, it’s so stupid.
I know it’s not true but it just feels like I won’t meet anyone like her again and that makes me sad. Then I remember how interested she was in me at first, but how quickly she discarded and I feel inadequate and unwanted.
It really feels like I won’t get over this slump until I meet someone who takes her place, but that seems unlikely too, considering I’m extremely uninterested in every girl I’ve talked to since.
2 comments
Bad sex will do that. You hardly knew her. It’s probably that she ghosted you is why you’re hung up on her, and it’s not about her being special or different in some way. It’s that she didn’t want you anymore and you don’t have closure. But…. You know the sex was bad. That’s your closure.
I wish I could tell you the reason behind why she ghosted you but I can’t because sometimes us women are just blank. My best theory is that its because you had sex before you guys had a chance to build a real connection and closeness. I think if you had the chance to build that beforehand, the sex would be sweet. I think I would recommend waiting at least 5 dates before it gets to that point. My best experience with a man was because he was like that, approached everything slowly, let me take most of the first steps. He was just patient, gentlemanly and kind. I didn’t even feel anything for him at first, I just kept going on the dates and it just went perfect that way.
So just take your time, build comfort, make it so you miss each others company. It’ll be beautiful once sex finally happens.