First off, I’ve never written anything on Reddit so I hope I’m doing it right and I don’t want to piss or offend anybody.
I’ve never looked through my boyfriend’s phone or him with mine nor have we ever felt like we had to. I (25F) didn’t mean to come upon this, my boyfriend (27M) and I have been together for 3.5 years and we’ve always for the most part have been honest with each other.Occasionally I have found out things my boyfriend that he lied about.
Ex) He has twins from an ex and I asked very early in our relationship if they were ever married. He said no. But about 6 months ago idk why but I asked the same question “Were the 2 of you ever married?” And he told me yes. I was SHOCKED cause it always seemed like he was honest and it took us some time to work through that bc I always felt like he was hiding something else
Bringing it back I recently discovered how useful Reddit is and have been using it mainly for technology issues and while I was on his Reddit app, bc my phone died I clicked on the 3 line tab thingy and found his recently viewed (I didn’t even know Reddit did that) all of his recently viewed consisted of porn. About half of it was labeled “shemale” and “femboy”
At the first those freaked me out, nothing bad towards transgender people. My bf told me early on that he was closer to pan/bi. He’s been with a man and trans before but he’s mainly been with women. So I don’t think I mind the trans porn as much. Halfway through our relationship he made a comment saying “I’m definitely straight or more straight”. I know that porn is one of those things that fantasy is very different from reality.The other half of the porn he had was “dick”, “cock”, “trade dickpics” “penis” 15 total including the femboy porn. It’s hard to stomach the penis links bc I don’t have a penis.
My question is how best to handle this situation, is it worth bringing up or am I going to embarrass him?
Note: I’ve been open with him that I used to watch all kinds of porn, so I don’t think there should be any shame. I feel absolutely terrible for even feeling weird about this. I guess I just feel like I’m not able to satisfy him emotionally/psychically if that’s all that he’s looking at to please himself.
I’ve offered to send videos to him before
He’s always been bad at showing intimacy that isn’t sexual and anytime brought that up he’s gotten really sad and kind of shuts down. Sometimes he has said that he feels like he does show sexual intimacy a lot.
Tl;dr my bf has very different porn on him computer that I’m not sure if I should talk with him about or drop it. There’s been untruthfulness in the past and I don’t want him to be hiding something so important to me. At the same time I want to respect his privacy?