So I pretty much watched and read everything related to Jeffrey Dahmer and John Wayne gacy in middle-high school. I’m now 20F.
I usually like men for their personalities before I can lay down with them. However, there are times where I liked mens bodies when they’re fit. Certain things they do sexual and non sexual gets my attention right away.
So I have OCD. Anytime I feel drawn to men this way, I get intrusive images in my head of the Polaroids I’ve seen dahmer took. And I feel wrong for liking the man in a sexual way.. I even stopped in the middle of sex because of this. I feel terrible. And I need therapy but my insurance isn’t accepted at most places. I wish I can get over the guilt without having to go :/
It feels wrong to be attracted to men after reading about the serial killers. I’m not sure if anyone had an experience like me. I just needed to vent.