To make a long story short, I (19f) met this guy (22m) on Reddit (I believe) a few months ago. He’s interested in me, but I don’t feel the same. I’ve been telling him that I’m lukewarm about him and that he should find someone who’s interested in him and knows they like him. He replied and said something like “No one is ever interested in me”.
A few days ago, I told him “I’m just not interested”, word-for-word, and he responded with ” š I’m sad”. Instead of a normal response like, “I understand. Can we still be friends?” or “Okay, thanks for telling me”. Before, he told me that it never works out with people he’s interested in, but the same thing happens to me, although I’m a female, I don’t use that as a way to convince someone to like me back.
Last night, he told me I was toxic and that I used him as a rebound, although this entire time I told him I was lukewarm and he should keep talking to other people. A few days ago, I even told him I wasn’t interested and that we should just be friends. He had the audacity to call me toxic and said I opened up some unaddressed trauma for him. He even said that the guy I was last interested in dodged a bullet. He told me that I strung him along and never told him I wasn’t interested, but I did this whole time; I even said I wasn’t interested a few days ago. We even talked on the phone about this last night. After the conversation, he told to “get the f___ out of here”. After all that, he didn’t unfriend me or cut contact.
Am I in the wrong or is he just gaslighting me and acting like a man-child?
I’ve never had to interact with someone like this before. I don’t have time for this and just want to enjoy my summer. Lol. I’m going to stop talking to him, but I just feel sorry for him at this point and wanted to see if he’s trying to manipulate me, which I believe he is.
11 comments
Heās not manipulating u heās just very dumb and ignorant it sounds
Youāre not in the wrong OP. You told hom numerous times over and over again. Donāt put any more energy into someone like that it aināt worth it. Things will only get worse even when y try to stay āfriendsā like you already thought he is trying to manipulate you 100%. Stay away OP.
> I […] met this guy […] on Reddit
There’s your problem, right there.
Anyways, the “I’m sad :(” is a valid response. Dude is probably genuinely disappointed that you’re not interested and that’s ok. But everything else that he did after that was uncalled for and a reflection of how he is emotionally immature.
He’s not gaslighting you, he’s just a immature idiot. Block and move on.
I don’t know about manipulating you, but he’s being a brat and lashing out because he can’t handle rejection. So guilt tripping you, absolutely.
There’s a lot of losers out there who think they’re entitled to romantic interest from other people even though they behave like this. You didn’t do anything wrong and it sounds like you were up front with him, he just chose to keep deluding himself.
The only takeaway here for you is to exit conversations like this before they get too toxic. It sounds like there have beenmultiple conversations with him where he’s accused you of this? From now on, just stop talking to guys if they say stuff like this. They’ll only get worse.
Stop talking to him, it doesn’t sound like he’s a good person to be friends with
Guy is only interested in him self and his well being. But He sees others like you in charge to make him feel good. Not a millisecond he thought about the way you feel. Only you can take a thing out of it which is in future, if a guy doesn’t come up with a normal answer at the first time you say you don’t want to be with him, stop answering at all. Bc you don’t have to repeat it several times.
You’re a redditor OP this is classic r/niceguys
You are allowed to have preferences and boundaries. it seems he was only focusing on what he wants and needs from you without considering your feelings/wants/needs.
he’s not gonna be mature, caring and compassionate over night.. this requires years of growing up. I say find a more considerate, respectful friend. you deserve better.
I’m sorry you had to deal with that and especially that he was letting his anger out on you, which wasn’t okay. you’re not his punching bag so don’t be!
you didnāt do anything wrong. heās 100% trying to manipulate you because heās salty that you werenāt interested. i wouldnāt continue talking to him either.
He sounds like he’s butthurt at being rejected so he is turning it all back on you. He is manipulative by acting the way he has. You dodged the bullet sis. You’re seeing this situation clearly and correctly.
How tf you meet people in reddit