Me and my best friend are both 30 years old.
She met her boyfriend last august and since then, the nature of our friendship (understandably) changed : she started to prioritize him, our texts are less and less frequents and I am always the one who has to initiate, she assures me I can talk to her about anything, but she literally takes weeks to reply so I don’t confide in her anymore because I feel like I am bothering her.
She spends most of her free time with him so I only see her once every 6 weeks, more or less, compared to once a week before and apart when we see each other, she does not give me any updates about her life like getting a new job, meeting her in laws etc … She mainly confides in him now.
I feel like our friendship has been downgraded and to be honest, it hurt really badly in the beginning.
I have followed your advice and have made great efforts to invest into my hobbies and to make new friends. In the last few months, my efforts have really paid off and I am happy to say that I have a new social circle with whom I go out twice to three times a week. I am over the moon 😀
I wouldn’t say I have forgotten about my friend, and once in a while, I am still sad about the changes in our friendship but it’s not as painful nor as frequent as it was.
Anyway, I saw her yesterday and she asked me if she could hang out with the new people I have met because she is bored and wants to socialize as well…
On the other hand, I have never met her boyfriend and she has never invited me to the parties she does with his friends (and there are many). She knows I am alone in this city, and I even hinted the fact that I felt lonely and scared that anyone in a relationship would stop prioritize our friendship.
But she was so smitten with her guy that she didn’t really realize it, and I had to go out of my way to meet more people.
So to be completely honest, I really don’t want to introduce her to my new friends. I have met them through meetup so she can sign up if she wants. But I would like to compartmentalize things.
I just think it’s unfair because those new friendships began because I was struggling but she seems oblivious to that and just wants to meet them like it’s easy.
I don’t know if my feelings are legitimate or if I am being petty and selfish.
Yesterday, I said that I would think about it but I don’t know how to handle the situation.
Any help is appreciated
Thank you for reading