My husband started a discussion tonight about how he watches a lot of porn everyday and m*sterbates about 4-5 times a day and from now on he would like to stop and ask for my help to get off. Now, I knew about this and I don’t really think it’s healthy but I don’t have a problem with him watching porn. Our sex life is good enough but we don’t do it that frequently, maybe twice a week.
Then he started talking about how I have to stop watching porn too. I don’t really watch porn that often so I was like sure. Then he said I have to refrain from everything that “has porn”.
Now, I’m a person with short attention span and I keep listening to true crime podcasts or a Netflix show or romance audio books while I do anything like cooking, crochet etc.
I don’t really listen to books that are erotica. I mostly listen to slow burn romance novels or read romance novels like Ali Hazelwood or Colleen Hoover etc. I understand this is a very famous and common hobby among women and I didn’t know it was exactly like “watching porn” .
I explained how there are sex scenes but they come after hours of reading them. And I don’t really touch myself reading these or listening to these.
But then the conversation got heated and he said I didn’t understand what being married meant and I had to act like a married person and how married women don’t do these. I had to strictly avoid anything that had sex in it.
I think this is quite unreasonable . I have tons of books and it’s like one of my biggest hobbies. I’ve seen married womeb of all ages read romance novels even grandmas reading them. Their partners don’t seem to care and seem supportive.
Am I in the wrong? I don’t know what to do or how to respond, maybe I’m not understanding the severity of the situation.
TL;DR : my husband told me I can’t read romance novels because they have sex in it.