TL;DR: I want to more actively show acquaintances that I care, but I really struggle to have even short convos due to disinterest.
I’m not sure how to phrase it exactly, but when it comes to interacting with others I find it incredibly difficult to indulge in and enjoy talking to people without a purpose in mind.
I know that it’s a HUGE point in this sub that you need to talk to people without an agenda. You need to actively listen and not just wait around to respond. I do try to implement this to the best of my ability when I’m in the moment, but it feels nigh on impossible.
Small talk about nothing of importance is truly torture to me, it feels like a waste of my very existence. It’s not even that I don’t like people, I think people are really cool and interesting, but I would say a good 70-80% of the time I’m talking to them I would rather be doing literally anything else.
A good amount of it stems from social anxiety, and general difficulties with social skills. However, over the past few years, I’ve been really embracing my introversion and thus my anxiety has dropped dramatically.
I guess the point of this post is that I care about the people in my life, and I want to care more about what they have to say. (To be clear, I’m more referring to friendly acquaintances, I don’t struggle as much with people I’m truly close with.) I’ve had some people tell me that I need to stop worrying about what others think, but I don’t believe thats the issue. It’s more an issue that I want to be better and letting others know that I care (even when I really don’t want to hear them talk lol.)
Please don’t think I’m heartless, I’m asking because I care a lot.