So my (21f) boyfriend (23m) and I have been “official” for 2 months now after having been close friends for over a year. I truly believe I have found my soulmate and I can not even think of anything I do not like about this man. But there is one thing that has continued to bug me more and more since we have started dating; his family’s financial situation.
So my jealousy comes from this- he is currently in Costa Rica for his 4th time and is there to do some volunteer work with a conservation agency. This is so insanely cool but oh my GOD I wish I could be there too. He is so incredibly lucky with the life he has been given; an amazing family and so many amazing experiences. He remains humble about the money they have (he told me he did not even know they were “rich” until much later in life because his parents have always been so humble as well) and practices gratitude for what he has. But I still am so jealous of him and the life he leads. I am jealous that he is on the beach right now as I sit in my small college home applying to jobs so I can have a place to live after my lease expires in 2 months. I am jealous of him living in his own nice apartment that his father pays for and of his nice car and fun adventure “toys” that he has (all, again, paid for by his dad). I am jealous that he does not have to worry about his insurance payments at the end of each month, and jealous (also worried here) that he does not even think to check his bank account because he knows there will always be enough money for a grocery run in there. He never even had a job until after he graduated college a year ago, and now works for a really good (starting) salary at his father’s business.
I am not calling myself poor in any way shape or form though, I am incredibly privileged and grateful for the life I have been given and I remind myself of my privilege all the time. It is something I believe we all could do more. But I still find myself self-pitying and jealous when I think about what he has been gifted compared to what I have that I had to work for. I hate the feeling of jealousy and I hate even more being upset, but I really do not know how to not feel this way. I know he did not chose this life for himself and that he is grateful for what he has, but I feel like I cannot even call him right now because hearing the tropical birds squawking in the background just make me so much more jealous. I wish I could live his life really, it seems so much easier. I love him so much and I am so excited to be building our life together, but how do I get over this jealousy?
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**TL;DR;** : I am jealous of my boyfriends financial situation and how lucky he is to have so much paid for by his parents and how he is always going on amazing trips abroad on his parents dime.