If you were made Emporer of the UK starting now, what would you do as leader?

26 comments

1. Nobody allowed to own more than 2 homes

   Universal basic income

   Renationalise post office and trains

   Nationalise other public transport and utilities

2. ‘If anyone has any suggestions as to how to reduce inflation, that’s welcomed too.’

   Have you tried killing the poor?

3. Deport 95% of the country’s population.

4. Make knowing the spelling of the word “emperor” a key part of the national curriculum.

5. I’d have a one in, one out policy for immigration. In the sense that anyone can come here from anywhere as long as they’re contributing, and in return I’ll kick out some of the native wasters who are just a drain.

6. I’m not entirely sure the world would be all that thrilled to discover we were starting up the Empire again…

7. Nuke Wales

8. Ban umbrellas.

9. Give everyone back their pensions, men at 65 women at 60. And no NHS/teacher/council pensions payable til you actually retire it’s a scandal how many are working and getting a pension from the tax payer we could raise PiP in a heartbeat with that money. All sick pay paid a decent but standard amount. You pay full council tax on 1st property, double on second triple on third and so on higher stamp duty on the same scale and no capital gains refief on property. . Stop the sales of council houses and start buying them back. Stop foreign home ownership. Bring back proper apprenticeships and grants for real University courses. Eg nurses go back to starting at lowest on ward and work their way up doing day release to college as needed. Cap pay for Uni, Council, NHS anyone who works for the State at the highest levels basically. End Green taxes bring back Miras (Mortgage Interest Relief at source. Bring in Petrol Watch to stop the doubling of profit margins we’ve seen. Same for energy in fact I’d make it illegal for foreign in esters to own any of our infrastructure and make it so shares in energy Companies go back to the Government when you die. Give MPs barrack style housing and end the subsided bar and expenses free for all. Launch a proper investigation into what the Charities Commission is so toothless and hold charities to account.

10. Get rid of the tabloids. Make newspapers adhere to strict rules about factual reporting with heavy punishments if it can be proven that they knowingly misled (or outright lied to) the public.

11. Find someone really clever and make them deal with everything…

    Then probably just sit and watch tv to be honest…

12. Have someone make me new clothes.

13. Don’t tax overtime pay.

    SORT THE FUCKING DENTIST SITUATION.

    Rent control for all property types.

    Edit: Remove VAT from chocolate.

14. We have an emperor?

15. Start a public consultation process on a new constitution. One thing it would definitely include is proportional representation.

    Then once that’s in place, my job will be done and I will retire in luxury (I paid myself a decent salary while I was Emperor).

16. Erect a statue of me in every major city, then declare a day to me, another bank holiday on my name

17. Public executions everyday.

18. If I was being good, I would set up an expert board to make the UK entirely energy self sufficient, invest in excellent public infrastructure and push for a more sustainable economic model.

    But if I immediately went mad with power I would fulfil my ambition to make Thanet an island again, and turn it in to my personal fortress.

19. Legalise all drugs and allow pharmacies to sell over the counter at limited dosages. Also set up some sort of system so it is logged across all pharmacies so people can’t just go to multiple ones and buy it again.

    Bonus: lift all shop opening hours restrictions.

20. Make Frosties the official currency as they’re grrrreat

21. Oust the sexual criminal, friends of oligarchs, and end the monarchy once liz leaves. Rent controls. Limit property ownership. Fund a better national dental care system. Wealth tax. Improve treatment in care homes. Figure out how to unify the young and old. Lobby governments of the world to consider environmentally and socially destructive business practices as crimes against humanity. Ya know.. silly stuff

22. As Empress, I would ensure the feminine of all nouns becomes the default for describing all humans.

23. I would make it illegal for anyone who is retired, unemployed or on holiday to food shop in the evenings or weekend.

24. Invest in young people and help them get somewhere in life. That and a three day work week for all.

25. Round up everyone else who commented in this thread and put them in prison.
    Then shave half a percent off interest rates, shore up the pound, keep VAT steady for now, and round up all the dwarves.

26. Instantly reappropriate wealth of anyone who has more than £10m and use it specifically to improve the lives of the most needy. Renationalisation of all utilities and public transport and the biggest infrastructure improvements the world has ever seen, creating jobs and a better country for all.

    And a written constitution specifically giving everyone here rights to freedom and healthcare, as well as criminalising corruption in office. It seems we have very little at the moment to curb corruption