I am divorced for 17 years (53F) and haven’t been committed since, with a couple of short-term boyfriends and situationships if you will. The marriage I’d had was painful in the end, and it’s taken a long time to get over it. We were together for 10 years.
Now I’m feeling more in the mood to get real with someone. Went through a rough couple of years (health, job loss), but I’m on the upswing again 🙏♥️, and have been attracting various fellas here and there, mostly flirtations but available men. There’s one guy I feel, maybe it could get real? Who knows, you never know, but he’s the type who doesn’t seem open to endless dating – haha that’s my preference! We’re friends at work, so I’m going with caution. Taking my time to assess. I suspect he’s the type to go “all in” – divorced a year or two, was married for 20 years, seems to prefer that lifestyle? So I can’t be wishy-washy, he strikes me as sensitive. Have a feeling he likes me, and might ask me out? I like him too.
Well that squeamish panic feeling is coming up. I’ve been living alone since my divorce, and want to be open-minded, as I don’t want to be alone forever. I’m trying to evolve my “picker” towards better partners, but damn if it’s not bringing up feelings. The situationships I’ve been in have their limits, and I’ve grown weary of the open road. So I do want to settle down, and yet freak out when it’s a possibility. Yes I’m in therapy, haha!
Came here to wonder, how do I get back on the bike after so long? Before my marriage went wrong, my ex had been my best friend, then he had a major swing in the other direction – drinking, gambling, staying out all night, I suspect he was cheating on me. Turned very mean and critical, just a horrible nightmare.
I remember in the opening of “Annie Hall” that he makes a joke abt his aunt thinks she’s a chicken, people ask his uncle “why stay?” to which he replies, “I need the eggs”. Then he said, “That’s how I view relationships – I need the eggs”. So that’s where I am at – back to hankering for a proper fella, think I found a keeper, and yet fear change and getting trapped all over again. We can’t guarantee anything in life, but I’ve worked on myself and am ready-ish to take a chance.
TL/DR: Happily married folks, what’s the upside to marriage? Also – anyone who had a second chance and it turned out well, please advise ♥️