Watching porn with my partner I felt a bit superfluous, a bit like a fleshlight, knowing he was imagining being with the woman in the video. Is there a way I can learn to get past this or should I be setting a boundary? (I'm just starting to learn about boundaries) I am curious about a threesome but have always felt like I wouldn't be able to cope seeing my partner with someone else, but people must have a way of compartmentalising it to be able to enjoy it, maybe? I would like to learn of I can.


1 comment

  1. First of all, you shouldn’t do anything that you are not comfortable with. So if you do not want to watch porn, then you don’t have to! It is not just his decision that you should watch porn, this is something you should decide together!

    Secondly, it is not for certain that he watches the porn because he is imagining to be with the girls in the videos. For many it is simply arousing to watch porn together with their partner. In what setting are you watching porn? I like to watch porn with my partners, masturbating together and discussing the video, describing what what we like and if we would like to try some of the things we see. Of course if my partner put on porn during PIV and just watched the movie not focusing on me then I would feel very left out. This is always the case, you should have sex TOGETHER. So if he is using the stimulation from porn as a substitute for being with you then that is very very wrong.

    Anyways, talk to him about this if you feel left out. Tell him either that you don’t want to watch porn with the him if you don’t like the porn, or tell him that he needs to include you more if you don’t mind the porn itself and it’s rather his behavior watching the porn that is the problem.

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