I 31F and my boyfriend 33M have been together for about three and a half years and have lived together for about 8 months. We quite regularly get into heated arguments and yell at each other, then sweep it under the rug and move on. Lately, the fights have just become more frequent and our communication has gotten even worse. I am constantly trying to talk through our arguments and always just end up apologizing because he never wants to talk about it.
About two weeks ago, I hit my limit. The night before I had to leave on a work trip, we got into an argument and he slept in our guest room. The next morning I left and tried to say goodbye and he wouldn't speak to me. The whole weekend he didn't reach out at all, while I tried to reach out and at least say sorry. When I got home from the work trip I tried to talk and he didn't want to, so I left to run errands for three hours. By the time I got home, he had left for the rest of the weekend without telling me. I had had enough and put in a deposit on room in a friend's apartment. Stonewalling is not uncommon for him to do when he's mad at me.
He knows that I want to move out but is asking me not to. I said I will stay and not move if we can work on our relationship if he books couples therapy and cleans up the apartment (he is messy and I am always cleaning up after him, another fight we often have). He did neither. I have asked him every day for a week if he has booked therapy, but he says he has looked into it but hasn't officially booked yet. I ended up cleaning the apartment because I couldn't take the mess anymore (after a week of asking him). He claims that he hasn't been able to do anything because he's depressed about me leaving, but I feel like he should be doing everything in his power to make me stay… and he hasn't done anything.
Am I leaving too soon and not giving it a chance?
We live in a very expensive city and I feel bad moving out because he will have to cover the rent all on his own. He said that he could handle it but I still feel bad leaving him with this expense.
Any thoughts are appreciated.
TL;DR I am debating if I should give my boyfriend another chance and not move out or if I am doing the right thing by leaving after he hasn't done what I asked.