We both work full time, I make slightly more money than my husband and have no kids. He has many good points, he is kind and compassionate and handsome..
But he takes a mostly passive role around the house and needs to be told to do any chore around the house like a small child. If you didn't tell him, he'd never initiate to scrub the toilet if he saw it dirty. I tried to wait for him to initiate to clean the shower and it just ended up getting so disgusting I cleaned it myself. He says he hates cooking, so I do all the cooking, which is fine because I enjoy it, but then he expects hero worship for doing the dishes 50% of the time even when I cook 100% of the meals. He's probably cooked maybe 6 meals since we've been together (5 years) and maybe vacuumed the house <10 timed. How did it get like this?
He complains because I am not interested in sex as much anymore, but honestly he just gives me the ick. I feel like on my days off I'm meal prepping for our house, cooking and cleaning and on his days off he gets to play video games and do things he enjoys.
I feel like I've lost myself in all the chores I do and am no longer the fun and interesting person I used to be. I also find it hard to be attracted to someone who is happy to ruin my days off, and I am basically a 2nd mother to. He's more like my child than my husband and it's not sexy. I feel like I've said it so many times and it doesn't click that this behaviour isn't hot. He just complains I have a low sex drive, but I still find the men I work with or see on TV attractive and handsome, but him, I just feel neutral or annoyed because I'm always picking up after him.
I'm talking leaving toe nails on the couch, beard trimmings all over the counter after he shaves, just gross stuff. Does it ever get better? How do I cope? We've been together 5 years and like, at first it was fun caring for him and spoiling him, now it just feels gross. I want to send him back to his mums house.
He also claims he helps out soo much because he does some dishes and mows the lawn, but household maintenance is SO much more than just doing the dishes.
Was there anything that worked for your Husbands? I've asked nicely, I've yelled, I've screamed, I've tried those chore competition apps to see who could do the most chores (he just got bored and let me win) and I just can't anymore.