So basically a couple of days ago I went to my boyfriend-s house. This was the second time we had sex and I had told him the first time that we would always use a condom, as I am terrified of getting pregnant and of course STD's.
I don't know if this is relevant but I was a virgin, and these couple tries were quite painful, so the penis never stayed long in. This is the reason he gave me to ask me to go without condom, as it wasn't gonna be long enough to get me pregnant. I thought about it but didn't consent to it. He also said at one point that the condom was hurting him by being tight or something like that.
So we tried again and after he got it out (again, it didn't stay long bc it hurt) he said something like "oh this one was without condom" and said that it had slipped or something like that.
I then believed it bc I had seen the condom slip before, and I thought "oh well it wasn't long enough to get me pregnant anyway so it doesn't really matter" and laugh it off. Right now I don't know why I had that reaction, but I remember that I told him "you know this is a crime right" (I had recently read a new about how taking the condom off without consent had become I don't know if a crime or a felony I don't study law, but like it had become a punishable action in my country), but like in a joke tone, and he said "I know", but didn't seem worried.
I was chill about it until yesterday it finally hit and understood how serious was the matter: there had been a breakage of my consent.
I then thought about it and now I'm divided between believing that it was in fact an accident and that it slipped and he didn't notice and the thought that he could've taken it out on purpose.
The main argument for the first thought, it is true that the condom can slip, I've seen it before, but, on the other hand, he complained about the condom tightening him, and if he himself could feel if it was on or off, why did he get it in anyway if it wasn't on?
I also feel divided bc of my reaction, like if back then I took it as a joke and didn't give it importance, maybe it wasn't such a big deal.
Idk I'd like to know what you think and if you believe it's true that it slipped and he didn't notice or if you think he lied just so he could enjoy more.