Tl;dr is it wrong to date if your spouse has an extreme mental illness that prevents you from having a relationship?
My(35f) mother(68f) has been divorced for many years. She never dated until recently she joined a seniors group and met a man(Bill) (72m) who seemed to be nice enough (perhaps a bit old, but that’s her choice). I was excited for her!
I discovered that Bill was distantly related to a friend of mine and I told my mom how I shared the news with my friend (small world etc). She quickly called me to ask that I not share many details with my friend as, Bill has a complicated family situation…he is still married and his wife suffers from severe schizophrenia and has lived in extended care for many years. Their family is quite old fashioned and distant relatives (ie my friend) do not know much about her situation.
He remains married to his wife in order to keep her on his benefits plan and take care of her, but has not had a relationship with her in many years. His children know my mother and seem to have accepted the situation and welcomed her.
I am not sure how to feel about this. My sibling (39f) is disgusted and it has caused significant family strife.
Is this relationship morally wrong? I’m so torn because I want my mom to be happy but I wish so desperately that it was a simple and normal situation.