I’ve been noticing that I can’t stand being around other people. Like genuine hate. When I’m in public, I distance myself in a quiet spot or literally leave the place when it gets too crowded. I don’t wave to other people or say hi or hello. If someone wave hi to me back, I’ll straight up ignore them. If someone is talking to me, I’ll find every excuse to avoid having a conversation with them. That doesn’t mean I’m a complete asshole as I’m kind (although a people pleaser) but it’s kind of exhausting to be kind to others when they treat you like dog shit. I just find being around people too exhausting. Even online too. I’m just tired of being hurt and alone and being bullied over and over again because what? I’m fat? I’m gay? Dare I say is it my race too? God I hate people.
P.S. I don’t have any access to therapy because my parents are assholes so don’t even suggest therapy