my bf (35m) is hypersexual. during the pandemic he really got into edging as a “hobby” of sorts. the thing is, i (29f) have an INCREDIBLY low libido (non-existent really) because of depression, medications, and a chronic illness i’m still working out.

i oblige and help him during these sessions, and i dirty talk literally non-stop the whole time (like…can go for over 2 hours), playing out his fantasies, talking about my experiences, and honestly a lot of it i exaggerate about. he knows im exaggerating because he knows i have no drive and don’t actually want the things i talk about during edging. after a long session, im mentally exhausted from thinking up stories like im pornhub or something.

the main problem is that when he finishes, he is still horny. not like an hour later. immediately. he always says it’s not that i didn’t do enough or anything like that, it’s his drive. it makes me feel like garbage. like i’ll never be fulfilling. and then he wants to go again, and the next session will last longer, be more intense, and be more emotionally and mentally straining on me. when i tell him im all done he’ll get snotty about it and it drives a wedge in between us for the night.

i guess my question is, what would you do in this situation? why is he still SO horny. if he could edge for days on end he would. he’ll go out for the day hoping it’s a “horny day” and do things related to sex (go to sex shop, me wear skimpy outfits, go to bars and try for me to get hit on —he’s into hotwifing—etcetcetc.).

i feel like he’s a teenager just hitting puberty. he’s 35!!! will this ever stop? or slow? our relationship is amazing outside of this, but i legitimately am not sure if i can do this for my entire life. am i actually not enough? why can’t i satisfy him enough to not make him immediately need to get off again? ugh.


2 comments
  1. Honestly I do think it’ll slow down as he gets older. I think you really have to sit him down and seriously talk to him about it. Not just a small stop and chat, but like a full on convo.

  2. Sometimes people don’t have a matching sex drive. If you’re not willing to do the work to increase your sex drive, then maybe open up your relationship and let him get satisfaction somewhere else. Or, worst case, maybe you’re just not a good match and it’s time to move on.

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