This is a throw away account since my gf and friends follow my main acc .I (M20) have been dating this girl (F20) for a 40 days now ,for context we have been friends for 3 years and i have crushed on her for the entirety of it and so did she , but we have been on and off emotionally and in contact but recently we were at the peak of our talking stage and I raised the topic about our situation with commitment and title ,because i longed for her company not as more than friends but as my gf and she didn’t hesitate and said yes but wasn’t that excited and replied in a mono tone with a normal poker face . Now for a guy who has dreamed of being in a relationship with this girl for 3 years this is a big deal i was happy we were in contact on a daily basis till the end of the Sem but after the vacation started we hardly had any contact since she went back home from dorm . I had a vague idea that she didnt want her parents to know about her dating a guy and this is her first relationship but still she has been active on social media but i just cant call her .It has been a month with hardly any long conversation held between us and I am questioning if we are working I have kick started plenty of conversations but to my dismay it always ends with vague one word replies and left on delivered for 12 hours in a row.
Now some context : this is her first relationship she has been hesitant about dating and she hardly liked any guy she is bi and more on the fem side of it. And she is career driven big on making a career and living the dream of her life , would absolutely sacrifice anything for it . At the first week of the relationship we were going to end the call and she said i love you , now this is a big deal for me because she always emphasised on liking me so this is a big green sign that she loves me like i do but next day onwards she would reply to my I love you with love ya’s .few days back i raised this topic about how we have been distant and haven’t even talked properly she said that I’m overthinking and that i should be enjoy my vacation and she is on a journey to rediscover herself (she just enjoys isolation and nature sketching thats her self discovery her own words) and closed this topic i felt helpless so i didn’t elongate the conversation .
I need help guys im distraught is there someone else involved or is she scared of relationship or she falling out of love how should i approach this .PLEASE DONT TELL ME THE END THINGS ( mainly because i don’t nt think i will ever in whole eternity or even in whole history of mankind will find a girl like her she is the absolute perfect of who i want to be with in my life and i have a peculiar taste so peculiar that a women like that doesn’t exist but she does . She is tall as me , has wolf bangs even had boy cut in her golden era also has boyish charm goofiest humour bubbly and exotic personality which peaks i have never seen such rich personality in a women and her profound ways with words and dresses really grunge has pretty lips and d glasses that compliment her , has them stubby nose that i cant find attractive on anyone else but her i just cant stop my self from grinning or laughing at her company )(sorry about the rant just wanted to portray how bad of a head over heels i am for her)I HAD TO END THINGS I WONT COME HERE ASKING ADVICE FROM STRANGERS ON INTERNET