So I notices that my husband doesn’t want me anymore. We have sex, but once/twice a week max and this doesn’t feel right to me. At some point we were about to break up because of this and had an honest conversation where he told me that he likes hentai. And I also asked him what kind of girls he likes and obviously he replied asian with small waist. Hi, I’m a European red haired girl 5’1 35”/26”/37” 125 lbs. Doesn’t correlate with what he likes I guess)) I’m pretty open when it comes to sex, I like to talk about it as well to make sure I know what he likes etc. Every time I try to ask him “ what do you like” “what turns you on the most” “what fantasies you have/ what you wanna try” he just always says “I don’t know”. I got really insecure recently. I have bunch of sexy apparel, some toys etc and every time I try to do like a sexy night for us nothing works iykwim. He told me that those clothes are too open and he doesn’t like them. So I asked him what he likes and he mentioned that outfit I wore the other day to work with a pleated skirt, long socks aka a school girl. So I wore it and tried to seduce him for a quickie before we go meet our friend and he turned me down as usual. He always does that. He only wants me either when we drink/smoke ( that doesn’t happen often) or when it’s dark and under the blanket. I feel like my body doesn’t attract him at all. The other day we were going for a party, I was wearing a silk dress without anything underneath. I sent him a message about it at the party and he just kicked me under the table. He didn’t talk about it after until I did. I just told him that he didn’t react and he said “because what the hell was that”.
We’ve been together for 8 years already. We did long distance for half of this time and I sent him bunch of pictures, videos and we did Skype sex lol. He only has one of my pictures saved in his hidden album on his phone. And couple gifs with asian girls)) I don’t do this anymore, doesn’t see any point as he never reacts to my photos/messages anymore.
I feel abandoned and pathetic, really. My self esteem is somewhere under the ground already. Even tho I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, I go dancing heels twice a week, try to look good etc. I don’t have the best skin and I also want to loose 15-20 lbs to be more petite. But I feel like I don’t have motivation anymore. The only thing that makes me flatter and feel good about myself is when man come to ask me out in the gym and I just tell them I’m married. Pathetic again.
I know he works hard, he works quite a lot (9-10hrs a day) but he is ALWAYS tired and doesn’t have energy for me. Man, we are only 24 yo. I also work, make kinda good money, cook, try to maintain the house and myself and it’s still not enough. Maybe im just not enough? What should I do?
Ps I don’t even want to have kids anymore because it’s probably gonna get even worse.