I'm just curious…and I want tips on how to change for the better lol. I'm not exactly the weird kid, but I am a bit awkward in speech and mannerism. I want to be less like that.


48 comments

  1. Hi, former weird kid. Current weird adult.

    Don’t kill the cringe. Kill the part of you that cringes.

    You’ll find your people.

  3. I never did. I just learned how to control my weirdness in front of people

  4. Weird kid->teenager->adult here. Because 99% of my memories of attempted social interaction ended in rejection, I just stopped trying. I’ll be reciprocally nice to people but that’s about it. I save the weirdness for home base. Interestingly, when I stoppedinitiating social interaction and intentionally kept needed interactions short, sweet and basic, people stopped finding me weird. Or at least, they don’t make a point to stay away from me anymore.

  5. I tried my best not to stand out. I kept to myself and kept people at an arms length.

    DO NOT DO WHAT I DID! I regret it and now I spend time trying to undo it.

    If people can’t respect you for being yourself, that’s a them problem.

  8. The “weird” ones are the inventors, the creators, and the ones who change the world.

  9. Turns out I was just queer and most of my lack of social skills was a result of repressing significant aspects of who I am as a person.

    The more I accept my gender identity and sexuality, the easier it seems to be for me to have meaningful friendships. Unfortunately, it also comes with it’s own special forms of hate and bullying, but at least now I know why the dickheads are being dickheads.

  10. wouldn’t say i’m any “less” weird now, more a matter of i got more selective about who saw that part of me. Not out of shame, but rather because i don’t find it productive to share things they won’t relate to

  13. I didn’t really change, but I currently try to be more tame when it calls for it. For instance, interacting with my boss in a more professional setting is a lot different than with my coworkers.

    I still say random sayings like “Island Boy”, “Tudah Victah Belongz Da Spoils” “Arg it’s driving me nuts”.

  14. I didn’t change. I was a weird kid, a weird teenager, a weird adult and now a weird old retired person. I was a punk rocker in the late 70s, before it was fashionable. I suspect I’m somewhere on the spectrum, but who cares? Autism wasn’t a thing when I was a kid, and now that I’m officially elderly, a diagnosis won’t do much. So, I keep on celebrating my weirdness, and continue on with it. It’s great to be different. Why would I want to be like everyone else?

  17. I didn’t, I just pretend in front of people in/could be useful in a professional setting

  18. Learn how to be ok with being alone in a healthy way. I don’t mean be a loner, just don’t worry about it and people will come around. I figured this out in my mid 30s so you still got plenty of time if you’re a kid.

  19. Still weird, but working service industry jobs throughout college taught me better social skills

  20. You don’t really change. You just become more confident in stating out how you are and what you like regardless of what others around you do, they then respect you for it or not. It doesn’t really matter at the end of the day because you’re fine with who you are.

  21. Started to embrace who I am instead of hiding myself. I found the right people and enjoy my social network.

  22. Im still weird, but Im also super hot now, so people are more willing to look past my quirkiness (maybe they dont rlly even see me at all, just my looks? who knows)

  23. Being weird is funnily enough very acceptible if you own it. Instead of saying something, getting a weird look, and apologizing with a “I’ll shut up now”, just own it and double down.

    People tend to determine based on your reaction what their response would be. If you said something perfectly normal but act like it’s weird, they’ll think what you’ve said was weird.

  24. Still weird and married someone who is just as weird as I am. No need to change, there are many others like you in the world.

  25. I was labeled weird because they didn’t think I could have autism bc I had the wrong birth gender! I was labeled weird because I was born into a society prejudiced against people like me from the start. The cure for that isn’t to change your weirdness but to embrace it. Embrace it whole-heartedly and watch as people fall in love with your weirdness.

  26. I went from a weird kid to a weird adult. Tue biggest difference is I am confident in who I am.

  27. Weird is not a curse.

    Weird is all the passion and love and freedom in your heart. u/heardatrains got it pretty spot on. And you should hold onto your weird if you can.

    But from how you posed your question, I think you’re more worried about ability to socialize. That is a skill. Being able to talk with people, think of questions to ask and not trip over yourself with words is a skill. Just like singing and giving a speech or almost any other way of communicating/socializing. Practice helps. You ARE going to mess up and that’s fine.

  28. I still talk like a book. But I found a job where that is a positive thing. Just keep being you and try to be nice to the people who don’t get you. The nice part is so you can go back to sleep with a good conscience at 3a.m.

  29. Check out the autism subs, esp those for women. You’ll find plenty of stories and advice there.

  31. I didn’t get along with people in school. If I did, it was often because I faked a lot of personality traits and they just tolerated real ones. Then I met other neurodivergent adults and I’m happy now

  32. I’m still weird af, I can just talk to people now.

    Exposure therapy is the answer.

  33. You make friends with other weirdos and enjoy life that way. Mask a little when you’re in professional settings or as needed, and then thoroughly enjoy your weirdness alone or around the right people. Most people aren’t open about their weirdness, but if you open up to people a lot of them have similar hobbies or weird habits too.

    Also if you grow up and become a parent of a weird kid you realize most of that stuff wasn’t so weird or bad after all. There are a lot of little weird kids running around with flourishing friendships. That embarrassment and shame isn’t there until someone puts it into your head.

  34. Honestly, I just started caring less about what other people think.

    I used to be weird because I would always avoid people, sit to the side, not go to parties, not hang out when invited, I was terrified of being made fun of and judged, I would get in my head a lot and blame it on the popular kids for “excluding” me (after I basically turned them down a hundred times).

    After graduating High School I moved to another country and the people I met there started inviting me out, just like in High School, but this time I tried saying Yes instead, since I didn’t care if I came off as weird (I would only be there for 5 months).

    Turns out, I wasn’t weird, I just lacked confidence and was extremely insecure. I found out I am actually funny and witty and someone that’s cool to be around.

    Now, whenever I get invited anywhere, I always try saying yes, even if it’s completely out of my comfort zone. The worst that can happen is that they won’t invite you anymore, but no one will ever be a harsher judge than you are to yourself, so it can’t be that bad 🙂

  36. I’m a weird adult, who mostly just became louder. Embrace your weirdness, it really does make you unique, and the right people will appreciate you.

  37. Honestly, it helped my self esteem to work on who I wanted to be as a person. Finding people who liked me for me, expressing myself in different ways that people will find “normal” and most importantly, continuing to be weird by myself because I love myself. Always find time to be weird, that’s true self love.

  38. Recovered extreme introvert here. My answer is I got a job working in a busy service industry role (a cinema), so I had to learn to be personable and chatty in order to get by. I’m by no means an extrovert, but I can at least now initiate and maintain small talk conversations. The job itself was shit, but the soft skills I picked up were invaluable.

  39. Weird:

    Old English “wyrd” ‘destiny’, of Germanic origin. The adjective (late Middle English) originally meant ‘having the power to control ones own destiny’.

    Own it.

  40. There are real skills you can learn for communicating with others in compassionate ways and listening well. I do recommend them – for most folks, honestly; I found 1:1 counseling good but also just like, communication skills books for business and for relationships and trying to understand the advice. Taking a moment to think about the person you’re talking to and what THEY care about before you go into the first thought that popped into your head. 

    But this isn’t to help you be “less weird” – it’s to help you be kinder and more pleasant to interact with and a more thoughtful part of society, and help you be understood better. Still, if you’re finding distress from your interactions with others, I really do recommend doing some conscious practice on listening skills and compassionate communication skills.

  41. I got diagnosed with autism. Also I had to realize I was bullied and abused for it, and ultimatly was gaslighted into Trauma which is experiencing self doubt and obsessive fear. Despite realizing my brain is abnormally developed and imbalanced with the left one being over developed over the other that the improper neurodevelopment wouldn’t support the center brain of where the personality, concept of self, and the brains control center really is; I am an amazing unique person who is truly smart good and fun with my left brained autism

  42. Former weird kid, still weird adult.

    I stopped caring about what others think and started thinking about what makes me happy. Of course, you still have to think about whether your actions harm others, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone it’s okay to be you. People may not like it, but it’s exhausting pretending to be someone you’re not. It’s not sustainable. There are people out there who will love you for you, weirdness and all.

  43. Listen to the audiobook of *How to Win Friends and Influence People*. Its not that long and it’s generally considered the best collection of social acuity out there.

  44. How did I change? By worry about everyone else’s opinions of me and conforming.. finally at 30 years old I back to being a weird adult because it makes me happy

  45. I did a bunch of theatre which taught me comportment and how to speak in front of people. I credit that with how people manage to think I’m “comfortable” many times when I’m not when socializing.

  46. I learned how to act like I’ve got some sense, mostly. I’m still a fairly odd person and stand out wherever I go but I’ve gained enough act-right to get along as I go along

  47. Former weirdo

    After changing schools i did not stop being weird, but could close a chapter behind me and build better self esteem. So I started smiling more, and became kind of wannabe teenage Saul Goodman. …Did not exactly stop being cringe. But doing it with confidence, optimism and learned social practices, resulted in having a lot more friends.

    Now I am adult, and am one of those people whose essence others cannot define in other ways than my name.

  48. Only 26 so I can’t give you any sage wisdom but I will say this: it’s a love/hate relationship. The things you love most about yourself and make your the weirdest are what makes you interesting, but if you’re too much of yourself then you won’t be relatable to 95% of the people you meet. You learn to tone it up or down in different settings so you can make friends and get along with others. There are some that are themselves 100% of the time, but I find that really lonely. I try to find common ground with the people around me and sometimes people will surprise you.

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