3 years ago I made a friend at an event for young adults. We’re both dudes and liked the same things. Then I was introduced to a friend group that developed through that young adults group. I ended up becoming pretty good friends with about 5-8 people and we did a lot of things together as a group. The girl and I got pretty close as friends (kinda like a sibling friendship in my opinion. Not romantic). We’d share advice on dating/relationship situations and general life things. It was a fantastic group!
About a year and half ago things started feeling a bit off as people started not getting invited to things. Shortly after that, I noticed my invites to group things starting decreasing as well. So I thought I did something wrong and I did ask the girl to clear the air. She acted a little sketchy and said she values our friendship and nothing happened so it wasn’t clear why I stopped getting invited as much. The girl and the guy started getting closer but were trying to hide it “just friends, he’s a really good pal” hahah. Everyone in the group suspected something but respected them to let them figure it out privately. They eventually broke the news and share the relationship publicly and I was happy for them. Around this time people started moving away onto other things.
To be expected, she and I did not hangout on our 1:1s anymore but I really stopped getting invited to things then the smaller group would post online. So it hurt my feelings admittedly. Others felt the same as well. Months had passed and occasionally I’d get an invite to a big event like her birthday or NYE but it was like an afterthought and I declined each time. The guy has not said a word to me in probably a year or so now. Anyway, they got engaged (which I’m very happy for them) and so much time has passed that I haven’t really talked to anyone in the group in about a year. The guys mostly went their separate ways while the girls seem to stay in touch along with the guy.
I’d be surprised if I got an invite but thinking ahead…I’m not sure I’d want to attend the wedding if I were to get one. I wish them well but I feel that the damage has been done. No one calls/texts to check up on me. Am I being short sighted on not wanting to attend or should I be more considerate and be willing to attend? She may get really hurt (if she invites me and I decline) and there’s no coming back from that. If it’s reasonable for me not to want to attend then what would your reasoning be? I guess mine would be I didn’t want to attend a wedding where I’m not friends with the bride/groom because I feel like I’m not. Thoughts?