I’m dating my current bf for 3 years, we live together and have a dog together.. I was recently out of town and he went out on Saturday night with a new friend I haven’t met.. apparently it’s a former coworker and they reconnected (he’s a guy). I’m a bit skeptical bc I don’t know if this friend knows my bf has a girlfriend. They went out to a hockey game and then out to a bar and apparently he got home at 1:30am. My bf stopped texting me that night and I didn’t know what happened that night or when he got home. Am I crazy for being upset that he didn’t communicate with me that night? Anyone in a long term relationship who can relate? He thinks he doesn’t need to text me when he is out with friends without me. I’m not sure if I’m just being suspicious because I’ve been cheated on in the past.
3 comments
Guys night out, chill, but he should have told you in advance he’s going out, might not hear from him until morning so you don’t worry….communicating is key
I think it’s totally valid for you to want him to communicate a bit more with you when he’s out, personally if my partner didn’t get back to me I’d be worried about his safety. Though I think in a committed relationship trust is very important, and if you two have gotten this far with this level of commitment, probably cares for you a lot.
I would ask him to communicate with you more when he’s out, but reassure him that you’re not upset he’s going out with his friend. There’s nothing wrong with him going out, as long as it’s within reason (blowing money on drinks EVERY night would be excessive) and he’s being honest with you.
It’s also valid that your previous experiences are making you anxious about this, and you should talk to him about that too. Don’t accuse him if there’s no evidence, judt bring it up in this conversation. Most importantly if you trust him, make sure he knows that and you are genuine about it.
It was probably fine.. He shouldve told you, but just communicate that in the future, for next time you’d appreciate him telling you he has plans maybe texting you throughout the night or at least that he got home safe. It can be hard to trust people, but if he hasnt given you a reason not to believe the story is true- it is probably your brain being paranoid from the past- Which is okay too. It takes time to heal and trust again.