I literally feel like confidence is the answer to everything. Not knowing what to say: Wouldn't happen if you are confident, because you wouldn't overthink and judge. Approaching people: Anxiety wouldn't exist with a confident person. Being more likable, cool and popular? Confidence would do the trick. You would polarize and not care what others think of you. Thats the secret sauce. I can't think of anything that isn't fixed with confidence, but how do you truly achieve that confidence?


4 comments

  1. Do hard things that are achievable but stretch you mentally, emotionally and/or physically. The more you start setting little challenges for yourself, the less you will care about how ppl judge you. At least in my experience.

  2. I think for me it was understanding who’s opinion of me really matters. When it comes down to it there are very few people in that category.

  3. The best way is to start having success at doing the things you’re trying to do. That’s why athletes put in a lot of consistent practice — it’s hard to accomplish anything in sports if you lack confidence in what you’re doing. The problem is that people know how to get practice in sports. Socially however they don’t.

    In fact, people OFTEN try ‘new ways to do things’ and try to practice those things right in the middle of their social life. Generally speaking that’s not a great idea because that’s like trying to practice your fledgling soccer skills at the World Cup, or trying to improve your baseball skills during the World Series. Too big of an audience!

    So I always suggest picking one or two things to work on and doing it in MUCH smaller situation such as with people like: grocery cashiers, gym attendants, coffee servers, store clerks, bank tellers, fast food people etc.

    Things you can work on:

    * eye contact
    * lighting up a big Celebrity Smile (including your eyes)
    * giving an energetic greeting
    * dropping a comment
    * giving a compliment
    * asking a question
    * sharing a bit of info
    * talking with warmth
    * being playful in your vibe

    Basically it’s all about creating a warm, enthusiastic and confident VIBE. If you practice it CONSISTENTLY outside your social life, then eventually you’ll be MUCH more confident when you DO bring it to your social life.

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